On Fri, 1 Jun 2018 18:18:24 -0400, "Mr. Luddite" wrote:


A game warden walks down to the lake to check on a man with a bucket
full of fish.

Warden: Excuse me sir, do you have a valid fishing license?

Man: No sir, these are all my pet fish.

Warden: Your pet fish? How's that?

Man: Well, you see warden, every night I take all my pet fish for a walk
to the lake, I let them swim for about a half hour and then I whistle
and they all come back and jump in my bucket and we go home. We do this
every night.

Warden: Well that's just a crock of lies!!

Man: Here I'll show you... (Releases the fish in the lake)

Warden: This I got to see!!

5 minutes later...

Warden: Well??

Man: Well what?

Warden: The fish!! I don't see your fish!! Where's all your pet fish??

Man: What fish??

LOL!

Here's one back at ya:

A cop pulls over an old lady for speeding on a Texas highway. He asks for her driver’s license and
registration. When she opens her wallet, he notices a conceal-carry permit.

He asks, “Ma’am, do you have a weapon in your possession at this time?”

She responds that she has a .38 Special in her purse. And a .45 in her glove box. And a 9mm Glock in
the center console. And a shotgun in the trunk.

“Jesus, lady,” says the cop. “What are you so afraid of?”

The old lady looks him in the eye and says, “Not a f****g thing.”