On Mon, 1 Jun 2015 20:50:00 -0400, "Flying Pig" wrote:

trim

Our latest "gotta do this before we can leave" (except that we have to come
back to be able to leave, again) is that Lydia's almost-90-year-old mother
recently fell and broke her right arm and wrist. While she's been a
lifelong amazing healer, at her age, all bets are off. Then, there's the
issue of dealing with all the minutiae of everyday life without the use of
your right arm, and the complexity of money matters for which she's
ill-equipped, at the moment.

So, we're heading back to Vero Beach for a while or forever, depending on
how it works out, as we can't leave, again, until those matters are resolved
to the degree that she doesn't need us at an immediate availability.

trim


Excuses, excuses! I see it all the time. People who glom onto
any excuse to get back onto land. While I wish Lydia's mother well,
it appears that, since she's 90, if it's not a broken arm, it
will be something else perhaps for ten or more years.

I know a couple from Texas who have been going through the same
thing with her mother - for fifteen years. They would truly love
to do some extended cruising and have a fine Wharram 35 catamaran
that he built but the best they can do is a week or two at a time
once or twice a year and that is costing them double because they
have to line up and pay for 24/7 care for their 95-year-old mother
who has cancer, stroke, is paralyzed and has Alzheimer's, etc. She
is little more than a bedridden vegetable yet she rules both their
lives for who knows how much longer.

They are in their late sixties and what'll happen before they
manage to do any extended cruising is one or both of THEM will
be on the receiving end of some health problem which, itself,
keeps them on or close to shore. So much for their cruising
dream.

My parents told me when I was 21 that I was on my own and to go
live my life. Neither of them wanted or expected me to come
back and be their nursemaid in their old age. They simply
would not have tolerated it as a blow to their self-sufficiency
and pride, if for nothing else. Would that more parents gave
that kind of freedom to their children.

But people are all different and some parents expect their
children to sacrifice their lives to take care of them in
their old age as sort of a payback for the parent taking
care of the kid in its young age. Not a fair trade as the
former is selfish while the latter is their own choice.

Bottom line is you two are not likely to ever do any extended
cruising again. But, that's life! You seem to mostly enjoy
working on the boat and you can do that stuck ashore as well
as or better than you can do it while trying to work some
cruising in around lubberly obligations.

--
Sir Gregory