"riverman" ) writes:


ABOUT YOU
==========

Just to get the record straight, could please tell me your name, age,
sex and where you were born (I'll only publish your surname and
birthplace unless otherwise instructed)
name: riverman
age: 45
sex: M
birthplace: In the backseat of a greyhound bus, rolling down highway 59.
Just kidding man. It was a VW.

Did you ever find out who your old man was? He wasn't a tall dude with
light hair and a mole on his left shoulder?



YOUR BACKGROUND
==================

1.Q Tell me about the first time you remember being thrilled.
1.A I was about 2, and climbed up the railings of my crib, and fell out on
my butt (no, not my head, dude!)

Far out. Was your mama a lively little girl with dark brown eyes and
freckles? Sharon? Was her name Sharon? Shelly? Geese, something like that.



2.Q Which of your thrilling experiences has frightened you the most?
2.A The time I spent a night hanging on a 3/8 inch rope on a cliff because a
big storm blew in and I did not have the time or strength to complete the
5.12b climb I had started that afternoon. That was pretty cool, but I was
really wet and hungry.

Bummer. That's no thrill. I've got something here you should try, man. No
hassels. Pure thrill. And a bunch of other really cool wierd stuff.



3.Q What's the smallest or slightest thing to have thrilled you?
3.A This cute girl I did not know grabbed my ass in a crowded bar once. I
still haven't gotten over it.

Karen? Did she dig in her nails real hard? Karen was always doing that.
Started out kissing guys in her folk's shed when she was 8 or 10, maybe
younger. Cute kid.



4.Q Tell me why you're not a sensible person.
4.A I suppose its because I march to the beat of a different drummer.

Who's your faourite drummer? Been to a drumming circle on a high? Drumming
isn't much of a thrill, more of a male bonding thing.



5.Q What were you doing the last time you were really bored?
5.A Not as long as you think. Like one question ago...

Right on.



6.Q What's the most uninhibited thing you've ever done?
6.A Hmmm, one time I showed up for a final exam wearing only a jock strap
and nylons. But that was on a dare, so it probably didn't count. However,
the dare was to show up wearing a *dress*, jockstrap and nylons, so maybe it
does.

What's "uninhibited"? Hey, man, were're all part of the same universe, right?
What does it matter what anybody does. What happens, happens, right? Who's
this guy on the power tip trying to kid?



7.Q What things have you considered doing for thrill, but were too
concerned about the risks?
7.A Are you joking?? ANYTHING is worth the risk! The more risk, the more
fun!! I mean it, man, you gotta try it.

Define "risk". Hey, its all relative, right? I mean who's to say what's a
risk or what's a reward. This dude's trying to lay his value system on
you, man. Don't **** with his ****.



8.Q I always dreamt about becoming a paramedic, speeding in an
ambulance and saving lives; what about you?
8.A Dreamt?? I am a paramedic, but I don't work in no stinking AMBULANCE!
I work high-angle mountaineering rescues, where I rappel out of
helio-chopters to save yellowbellied flatlanders when they lose their nerve
on Everest above Camp 4. Or pulling wimpy Grand Canyon boaters out of
trivial situations where they get skeered of their shadows because the big
bad whitewater is gonna get them, boo hoo.

Damned straight. Do your thing. Peace and love.





YOUR THRILL
============
To answer these next 15 questions, you should think about a particular
time you were thrilled.

Hey, dude. This is definitely not one of them.
Fifteen questions is, like, a life sentence, you know?
I'm outta here.

Somebody otta make a monument to the Greyhound bus. Drive on old gurl.
Don't forget your paddle. That's a drag. Very unthrilling.


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