Johnston's Convention Diary
 

Levi Johnston’s Convention Diary
Exclusive Blog from the Presumptive Vice Son-in-Law

Dear Dude,

There is some seriously WEIRD ****IN **** goin on up in here!!!

So I get off the plane in Minnesota and the first thing I know some
creepy old dude who smells like my grandma is gettin up in my grille. I
am totally goin to give him a righteous beat-down and then I see it's
that John McCain dude from TV who's always approvin his ****in message.

So I give him this look like, "Don't get in my face or I will SERIOUSLY
**** you up," and dude looks back at me like, "I've ate Viet Cong bigger
than you for breakfast." So I like totally back off. Dude, if I'm
gonna get ****ed up no way am I gonna get ****ed up by someone older
than Larry King.

Things go from weird to ****in WEIRD AS ALL **** as I get like the
totally evil eye from Bristol's old man Todd who looks like he wants to
shove an oil pipeline up my ****in ass. ****, I said I'd marry her,
what the **** is wrong with you, dude??? Back off or I'll **** you up.

So I TOTALLY try to stay out of the way of Bristol's mom, who looks like
she's gonna go medieval on my ass, like do me way worse than that
trooper she got canned. For a minute I feel like I am TOTALLY GOING TO
**** MYSELF, but than I think of thoughts to calm me down, like that
time in middle school when I ****ed that guy up who tried to **** with me.

Dude, the one thing I don't like understand at all is why Bristol's mom
even WANTS to be ****in vice-president and all. Right now, being
Governor of Alaska and ****, she could totally invade Russia if she
wanted to. It's that ****in close.

With all this crazy **** going on I didn't even like get a chance to
talk to Bristol. I wanted to ask her how her summer was, **** like
that, but every time I opened my mouth that McCain dude gave me another
look like, "You say word one and I will rearrange your ****in face you
****in piece of hockey ****." So I don't say a ****in thing.

Gotta go now. One thing's for sure, dude - when this week is over I am
totally getting wasted!!!!!

Peace out,

L to the J































(from Andy Borowitz)

SPAM: Warning, foul language from Borowitz, they are gettingdesperate...
 

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Johnston's Convention Diary
 

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Johnston's Convention Diary
 

yukyuk, not too shabby

"hk" wrote in message
...

Levi Johnston’s Convention Diary
Exclusive Blog from the Presumptive Vice Son-in-Law

Dear Dude,

There is some seriously WEIRD ****IN **** goin on up in here!!!

So I get off the plane in Minnesota and the first thing I know some creepy
old dude who smells like my grandma is gettin up in my grille. I am
totally goin to give him a righteous beat-down and then I see it's that
John McCain dude from TV who's always approvin his ****in message.

So I give him this look like, "Don't get in my face or I will SERIOUSLY
**** you up," and dude looks back at me like, "I've ate Viet Cong bigger
than you for breakfast." So I like totally back off. Dude, if I'm gonna
get ****ed up no way am I gonna get ****ed up by someone older than Larry
King.

Things go from weird to ****in WEIRD AS ALL **** as I get like the totally
evil eye from Bristol's old man Todd who looks like he wants to shove an
oil pipeline up my ****in ass. ****, I said I'd marry her, what the ****
is wrong with you, dude??? Back off or I'll **** you up.

So I TOTALLY try to stay out of the way of Bristol's mom, who looks like
she's gonna go medieval on my ass, like do me way worse than that trooper
she got canned. For a minute I feel like I am TOTALLY GOING TO ****
MYSELF, but than I think of thoughts to calm me down, like that time in
middle school when I ****ed that guy up who tried to **** with me.

Dude, the one thing I don't like understand at all is why Bristol's mom
even WANTS to be ****in vice-president and all. Right now, being Governor
of Alaska and ****, she could totally invade Russia if she wanted to.
It's that ****in close.

With all this crazy **** going on I didn't even like get a chance to talk
to Bristol. I wanted to ask her how her summer was, **** like that, but
every time I opened my mouth that McCain dude gave me another look like,
"You say word one and I will rearrange your ****in face you ****in piece
of hockey ****." So I don't say a ****in thing.

Gotta go now. One thing's for sure, dude - when this week is over I am
totally getting wasted!!!!!

Peace out,

L to the J































(from Andy Borowitz)

Johnston's Convention Diary
 

jamesgangnc wrote:
yukyuk, not too shabby

"hk" wrote in message
...
Levi Johnston’s Convention Diary
Exclusive Blog from the Presumptive Vice Son-in-Law

Dear Dude,

There is some seriously WEIRD ****IN **** goin on up in here!!!

So I get off the plane in Minnesota and the first thing I know some creepy
old dude who smells like my grandma is gettin up in my grille. I am
totally goin to give him a righteous beat-down and then I see it's that
John McCain dude from TV who's always approvin his ****in message.

So I give him this look like, "Don't get in my face or I will SERIOUSLY
**** you up," and dude looks back at me like, "I've ate Viet Cong bigger
than you for breakfast." So I like totally back off. Dude, if I'm gonna
get ****ed up no way am I gonna get ****ed up by someone older than Larry
King.

Things go from weird to ****in WEIRD AS ALL **** as I get like the totally
evil eye from Bristol's old man Todd who looks like he wants to shove an
oil pipeline up my ****in ass. ****, I said I'd marry her, what the ****
is wrong with you, dude??? Back off or I'll **** you up.

So I TOTALLY try to stay out of the way of Bristol's mom, who looks like
she's gonna go medieval on my ass, like do me way worse than that trooper
she got canned. For a minute I feel like I am TOTALLY GOING TO ****
MYSELF, but than I think of thoughts to calm me down, like that time in
middle school when I ****ed that guy up who tried to **** with me.

Dude, the one thing I don't like understand at all is why Bristol's mom
even WANTS to be ****in vice-president and all. Right now, being Governor
of Alaska and ****, she could totally invade Russia if she wanted to.
It's that ****in close.

With all this crazy **** going on I didn't even like get a chance to talk
to Bristol. I wanted to ask her how her summer was, **** like that, but
every time I opened my mouth that McCain dude gave me another look like,
"You say word one and I will rearrange your ****in face you ****in piece
of hockey ****." So I don't say a ****in thing.

Gotta go now. One thing's for sure, dude - when this week is over I am
totally getting wasted!!!!!

Peace out,

L to the J





(from Andy Borowitz)




We've got a real "shotgun" wedding on our hands here. I doubt the kid
wanted to get married, and he said on his blog he didn't want kids. Now,
he's being set up for the whole catastrophe.

It's too bad they don't teach proper birth control methods up in those
Alaskan schools.

SPAM: Warning, foul language from Borowitz, they are gettingdesperate
 

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