Joke
 

Mrs.E. sent this. She seems to think it's hilarious....

She doesn't appreciate a good Italian joke though, of which there are
millions of course.

-----------------------------------------
Two Norwegians were adrift in a life boat following a dramatic escape from a
burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, one of the
men stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear,
he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a genie
came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only
deliver one wish, not the standard three.

Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, "Make the
entire ocean into beer!" The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash,
and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by
mortals.

Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of beer on the
hull broke the stillness as the men considered their circumstances. One man
looked disgustedly at the other whose wish had been granted. After a long,
tension filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going idiot! Now we're going to have
to **** in the boat!"

---------------------------------------

Eisboch

Joke
 

On Sun, 9 Dec 2007 08:10:06 -0500, "Eisboch" wrote:

Mrs.E. sent this. She seems to think it's hilarious....

She doesn't appreciate a good Italian joke though, of which there are
millions of course.

-----------------------------------------
Two Norwegians were adrift in a life boat following a dramatic escape from a
burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, one of the
men stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear,
he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a genie
came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only
deliver one wish, not the standard three.

Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, "Make the
entire ocean into beer!" The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash,
and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by
mortals.

Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of beer on the
hull broke the stillness as the men considered their circumstances. One man
looked disgustedly at the other whose wish had been granted. After a long,
tension filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going idiot! Now we're going to have
to **** in the boat!"

---------------------------------------

Eisboch


Well...it *is* boating related!
--
John H

Joke
 

"Eisboch" wrote in news:JPmdnY-
:

Mrs.E. sent this. She seems to think it's hilarious....


You tell Mrs E I agree!....(c;

And thank her for me!

I think you're ok, in spite of what your buddy Jim said about you
on Skype a few minutes ago....(c;

Larry
--
Isn't it ironic that the same ISPs that are telling you
you're downloads threaten their networks......
.....are testing 100Gbps TV to sell on the SAME systems?
http://tinyurl.com/27qx3v

Joke
 

I changed beer to milk, and told my 7 year old son... he's still laughing.
:)

--Mike

"Eisboch" wrote in message
...
Mrs.E. sent this. She seems to think it's hilarious....

She doesn't appreciate a good Italian joke though, of which there are
millions of course.

-----------------------------------------
Two Norwegians were adrift in a life boat following a dramatic escape from
a
burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, one of
the
men stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would
appear,
he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a genie
came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only
deliver one wish, not the standard three.

Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, "Make the
entire ocean into beer!" The genie clapped his hands with a deafening
crash,
and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by
mortals.

Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of beer on the
hull broke the stillness as the men considered their circumstances. One
man
looked disgustedly at the other whose wish had been granted. After a long,
tension filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going idiot! Now we're going to
have
to **** in the boat!"

---------------------------------------

Eisboch

Joke
 

"Larry" wrote in message
...
"Eisboch" wrote in news:JPmdnY-
:

Mrs.E. sent this. She seems to think it's hilarious....


You tell Mrs E I agree!....(c;

And thank her for me!

I think you're ok, in spite of what your buddy Jim said about you
on Skype a few minutes ago....(c;

Larry


Is he still down there trying to grow bananas?

Eisboch

Joke
 

On Dec 9, 11:43 am, "Eisboch" wrote:
"Larry" wrote in message

...

"Eisboch" wrote in news:JPmdnY-
:

Mrs.E. sent this. She seems to think it's hilarious....

You tell Mrs E I agree!....(c;

And thank her for me!

I think you're ok, in spite of what your buddy Jim said about you
on Skype a few minutes ago....(c;

Larry

Is he still down there trying to grow bananas?

Eisboch

OK, here is my entry:
Mom cookin' in the kitchen of the hunting lodge when a box of bb's
falls into the dinner. Later that evening the youngest comes up and
says "mom, I don't feel good, I think there was something wrong with
dinner. The mom assures him that some bb's fell in the stew, and they
will pass. A few minutes later the 10 yo comes in and says "mom, I
don't feel good". Mom assures her that everything will be ok as soon
as they pass. Later that evening the young teen comes in and says
"mom", mom stops him and says "I know son, you don't feel good right"?
He answers "no mom, I was going to tell you I was jerking off and I
think I just shot the cat! :O

Joke
 

"Eisboch" wrote in message
...

"Larry" wrote in message
...
"Eisboch" wrote in news:JPmdnY-
:

Mrs.E. sent this. She seems to think it's hilarious....


You tell Mrs E I agree!....(c;

And thank her for me!

I think you're ok, in spite of what your buddy Jim said about you
on Skype a few minutes ago....(c;

Larry


Is he still down there trying to grow bananas?

Eisboch

und pineapples

Joke
 

"**** in the boat" is, but "beer" isn't appropriate language for a 7 year
old??? ever been checked for dyslexia?

Actually, neither is bad for a 7 year old. He just doesn't drink beer. He
does however pee in the water when we are boating. I put in terms he could
understand. Pity I had to explain it to you.

--Mike

"MMC" wrote in message
...

"Mike" wrote in message
...
I changed beer to milk, and told my 7 year old son... he's still laughing.
:)

--Mike

"Eisboch" wrote in message
...
Mrs.E. sent this. She seems to think it's hilarious....

She doesn't appreciate a good Italian joke though, of which there are
millions of course.

-----------------------------------------
Two Norwegians were adrift in a life boat following a dramatic escape
from a
burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, one of
the
men stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would
appear,
he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a
genie
came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only
deliver one wish, not the standard three.

Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, "Make the
entire ocean into beer!" The genie clapped his hands with a deafening
crash,
and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled
by
mortals.

Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of beer on
the
hull broke the stillness as the men considered their circumstances. One
man
looked disgustedly at the other whose wish had been granted. After a
long,
tension filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going idiot! Now we're going to
have
to **** in the boat!"

---------------------------------------

Eisboch



"**** in the boat" is, but "beer" isn't appropriate language for a 7 year
old??? ever been checked for dyslexia?

Joke
 

"Jim" me @nothere.net wrote in message
...

"Eisboch" wrote in message
...

"Larry" wrote in message
...

Mrs.E. sent this. She seems to think it's hilarious....


You tell Mrs E I agree!....(c;

And thank her for me!

I think you're ok, in spite of what your buddy Jim said about you
on Skype a few minutes ago....(c;

Larry


Is he still down there trying to grow bananas?

Eisboch

und pineapples

You're turning into a regular Jimmy Buffett. Buy a guitar yet?
I may be heading down there for a visit. Coors Light, if you please.

http://www.margaritaville.com/

Eisboch

Joke
 

"Eisboch" wrote in message
...

"Jim" me @nothere.net wrote in message
...

"Eisboch" wrote in message
...

"Larry" wrote in message
...

Mrs.E. sent this. She seems to think it's hilarious....


You tell Mrs E I agree!....(c;

And thank her for me!

I think you're ok, in spite of what your buddy Jim said about you
on Skype a few minutes ago....(c;

Larry


Is he still down there trying to grow bananas?

Eisboch

und pineapples

You're turning into a regular Jimmy Buffett. Buy a guitar yet?
I may be heading down there for a visit. Coors Light, if you please.

http://www.margaritaville.com/

Eisboch



Coors Lite it is. And I'll even put some Land Shark Lager in the larder for
you.
I've been seriously thinking about a bass guitar, but I'd like something
more manly. Maybe a tuba.
I'll keep a light on for you.
Jim

Joke
 

"Jim" me @nothere.net wrote in message
...


Coors Lite it is. And I'll even put some Land Shark Lager in the larder
for you.
I've been seriously thinking about a bass guitar, but I'd like something
more manly. Maybe a tuba.
I'll keep a light on for you.
Jim



Forget the tuba. Not you.
http://www.tuba.is.nl/tubas/boyintuba.jpg


You need a double belled Euponium.
http://www.8va.net/ConnDBE/Pictures-Pages/Image0.html

Or a good old Sousaphone:
http://www.music.vt.edu/musicdiction...Sousaphone.jpg

Eisboch

Joke
 

"Gene Kearns" wrote in message
...

Anathema!....... Land Shark, instead, if you please.



For those who were as confused as I ....

http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/01455e.htm

Eisboch (good one, Gene)

Joke
 

"Eisboch" wrote in message
...

"Jim" me @nothere.net wrote in message
...


Coors Lite it is. And I'll even put some Land Shark Lager in the larder
for you.
I've been seriously thinking about a bass guitar, but I'd like something
more manly. Maybe a tuba.
I'll keep a light on for you.
Jim



Forget the tuba. Not you.
http://www.tuba.is.nl/tubas/boyintuba.jpg


You need a double belled Euponium.
http://www.8va.net/ConnDBE/Pictures-Pages/Image0.html

Or a good old Sousaphone:
http://www.music.vt.edu/musicdiction...Sousaphone.jpg

Eisboch


I played the tuba in junior high school. Because I was one of the biggest
guys in band and played trumpet and mellophone, the teacher decided I should
be the tuba player. It sucks as an intrument. Hard to play at parties and
is heavy to carry.

Joke
 

"Calif Bill" wrote in message
...



I played the tuba in junior high school. Because I was one of the biggest
guys in band and played trumpet and mellophone, the teacher decided I
should be the tuba player. It sucks as an intrument. Hard to play at
parties and is heavy to carry.


The smart kids in grade school/junior high played flutes, or at the worst, a
trumpet. I always felt bad for the poor suckers climbing on the school bus
carrying their trombones, tuba or sousaphone.

Something they didn't think about when they picked an instrument.

Eisboch

Joke
 

"Calif Bill" wrote in message
...

"Eisboch" wrote in message
...


You need a double belled Euponium.
http://www.8va.net/ConnDBE/Pictures-Pages/Image0.html



My Uncle had a double belled Euponium. As a kid I played trumpet and always
got a kick out of trying his Euponium.

Eisboch

Joke
 

On Sun, 9 Dec 2007 08:10:06 -0500, "Eisboch"
wrote:

Mrs.E. sent this. She seems to think it's hilarious....

She doesn't appreciate a good Italian joke though, of which there are
millions of course.

-----------------------------------------
Two Norwegians were adrift in a life boat following a dramatic escape from a
burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, one of the
men stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear,
he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a genie
came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only
deliver one wish, not the standard three.

Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, "Make the
entire ocean into beer!" The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash,
and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by
mortals.

Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of beer on the
hull broke the stillness as the men considered their circumstances. One man
looked disgustedly at the other whose wish had been granted. After a long,
tension filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going idiot! Now we're going to have
to **** in the boat!"

It's funny how jokes change. First time I heard that one, it was
whiskey and Irish.

Joke
 

On Sun, 9 Dec 2007 13:39:15 -0500, "Jim" me @nothere.net wrote:


"Eisboch" wrote in message
m...

"Jim" me @nothere.net wrote in message
...

"Eisboch" wrote in message
...

"Larry" wrote in message
...

Mrs.E. sent this. She seems to think it's hilarious....


You tell Mrs E I agree!....(c;

And thank her for me!

I think you're ok, in spite of what your buddy Jim said about you
on Skype a few minutes ago....(c;

Larry


Is he still down there trying to grow bananas?

Eisboch

und pineapples

You're turning into a regular Jimmy Buffett. Buy a guitar yet?
I may be heading down there for a visit. Coors Light, if you please.

http://www.margaritaville.com/

Coors Lite it is. And I'll even put some Land Shark Lager in the larder for
you.
I've been seriously thinking about a bass guitar, but I'd like something
more manly. Maybe a tuba.

Bagpipes. Two reasons. One, the major annoyance factor. Two, only a
manly man could wear a skirt sans underwear and play with a bag.

~~ snerk ~~

Joke
 

On Sun, 9 Dec 2007 14:16:51 -0500, "Eisboch" wrote:


"Gene Kearns" wrote in message
.. .

Anathema!....... Land Shark, instead, if you please.



For those who were as confused as I ....

http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/01455e.htm

Eisboch (good one, Gene)

Gene does come up with them every once in a while.

Took me a minute too.

Joke
 

On Sun, 9 Dec 2007 12:28:42 -0500, "MMC" wrote:

"**** in the boat" is, but "beer" isn't appropriate language for a 7 year
old??? ever been checked for dyslexia?

Must not have any kids.

Joke
 

Short Wave Sportfishing wrote:
On Sun, 9 Dec 2007 08:10:06 -0500, "Eisboch"
wrote:

Mrs.E. sent this. She seems to think it's hilarious....

She doesn't appreciate a good Italian joke though, of which there are
millions of course.

-----------------------------------------
Two Norwegians were adrift in a life boat following a dramatic escape from a
burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, one of the
men stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear,
he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a genie
came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only
deliver one wish, not the standard three.

Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, "Make the
entire ocean into beer!" The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash,
and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by
mortals.

Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of beer on the
hull broke the stillness as the men considered their circumstances. One man
looked disgustedly at the other whose wish had been granted. After a long,
tension filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going idiot! Now we're going to have
to **** in the boat!"

It's funny how jokes change. First time I heard that one, it was
whiskey and Irish.

Hey, SWS! I am Irish and I resemble that remark.

Joke
 

"Eisboch" wrote in
:

Is he still down there trying to grow bananas?



Yes. No boat. Has big motorhome, instead.

Larry
--
Isn't it ironic that the same ISPs that are telling you
you're downloads threaten their networks......
.....are testing 100Gbps TV to sell on the SAME systems?
http://tinyurl.com/27qx3v

Joke
 

"Eisboch" wrote in
:

carrying their trombones

The trombone wasn't bad. I carried one for a couple of years
before figuring out it was more fun camping with the accordion you
didn't need a whole band to play with.

At one time, I had 9 different accordions, but only have 3 now. I
don't play them much any more. Internet is too addictive.

Larry
--
Isn't it ironic that the same ISPs that are telling you
you're downloads threaten their networks......
.....are testing 100Gbps TV to sell on the SAME systems?
http://tinyurl.com/27qx3v

Joke
 

On Sun, 09 Dec 2007 16:24:08 -0500, "Reginald P. Smithers III"
wrote:

Short Wave Sportfishing wrote:
On Sun, 9 Dec 2007 08:10:06 -0500, "Eisboch"
wrote:

Mrs.E. sent this. She seems to think it's hilarious....

She doesn't appreciate a good Italian joke though, of which there are
millions of course.

-----------------------------------------
Two Norwegians were adrift in a life boat following a dramatic escape from a
burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, one of the
men stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear,
he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a genie
came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only
deliver one wish, not the standard three.

Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, "Make the
entire ocean into beer!" The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash,
and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by
mortals.

Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of beer on the
hull broke the stillness as the men considered their circumstances. One man
looked disgustedly at the other whose wish had been granted. After a long,
tension filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going idiot! Now we're going to have
to **** in the boat!"

It's funny how jokes change. First time I heard that one, it was
whiskey and Irish.

Hey, SWS! I am Irish and I resemble that remark.

You pee in your boat?

Joke
 

Short Wave Sportfishing wrote:
On Sun, 09 Dec 2007 16:24:08 -0500, "Reginald P. Smithers III"
wrote:

Short Wave Sportfishing wrote:
On Sun, 9 Dec 2007 08:10:06 -0500, "Eisboch"
wrote:

Mrs.E. sent this. She seems to think it's hilarious....

She doesn't appreciate a good Italian joke though, of which there are
millions of course.

-----------------------------------------
Two Norwegians were adrift in a life boat following a dramatic escape from a
burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, one of the
men stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear,
he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a genie
came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only
deliver one wish, not the standard three.

Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, "Make the
entire ocean into beer!" The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash,
and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by
mortals.

Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of beer on the
hull broke the stillness as the men considered their circumstances. One man
looked disgustedly at the other whose wish had been granted. After a long,
tension filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going idiot! Now we're going to have
to **** in the boat!"
It's funny how jokes change. First time I heard that one, it was
whiskey and Irish.
Hey, SWS! I am Irish and I resemble that remark.

You pee in your boat?

I would, of course, if my other choice was to pee in whiskey. :)

Joke
 

On Dec 9, 5:28 pm, "Reginald P. Smithers III"
wrote:
Short Wave Sportfishing wrote:
On Sun, 09 Dec 2007 16:24:08 -0500, "Reginald P. Smithers III"
wrote:

Short Wave Sportfishing wrote:
On Sun, 9 Dec 2007 08:10:06 -0500, "Eisboch"
wrote:

Mrs.E. sent this. She seems to think it's hilarious....

She doesn't appreciate a good Italian joke though, of which there are
millions of course.

-----------------------------------------
Two Norwegians were adrift in a life boat following a dramatic escape from a
burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, one of the
men stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear,
he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a genie
came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only
deliver one wish, not the standard three.

Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, "Make the
entire ocean into beer!" The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash,
and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by
mortals.

Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of beer on the
hull broke the stillness as the men considered their circumstances. One man
looked disgustedly at the other whose wish had been granted. After a long,
tension filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going idiot! Now we're going to have
to **** in the boat!"
It's funny how jokes change. First time I heard that one, it was
whiskey and Irish.
Hey, SWS! I am Irish and I resemble that remark.

You pee in your boat?

I would, of course, if my other choice was to pee in whiskey. :)- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

OK try this one.

Old man and old woman sitting on the porch, rockin' away. Old lady
gets up and walks around over to the old man and slaps him right off
the frekin' chair. The old man laying on the porch asks the old woman
why she did that, she anwered, "thats for being a lousy lover for the
last 50 years. About an hour later, the old woman gets on over and
slaps the old man right off his chair. Again, the old mans asks her
why she did that, she answers " that's for having a small, well, er,
winky". About an hour later the old man gets up and slaps the old
woman right off the frekin' porch. The old woman looks up and asks the
old man why he did that, to which he answers, "that's for knowing the
difference".

OK, goodnight...

Joke
 

On Dec 9, 3:26 pm, "Eisboch" wrote:
"Calif Bill" wrote in message

...



I played the tuba in junior high school. Because I was one of the biggest
guys in band and played trumpet and mellophone, the teacher decided I
should be the tuba player. It sucks as an intrument. Hard to play at
parties and is heavy to carry.

The smart kids in grade school/junior high played flutes, or at the worst, a
trumpet. I always felt bad for the poor suckers climbing on the school bus
carrying their trombones, tuba or sousaphone.

Something they didn't think about when they picked an instrument.

Eisboch

Drums man, all you had to carry was a pair of bones, and those were
considered cool;)

Joke
 

"Gene Kearns" wrote in message
...

Anathema!....... Land Shark, instead, if you please.



For those who were as confused as I ....

http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/01455e.htm



I guess I was just feeling sesquipedalian......



Now cut that out!

Eisboch (in his best Jack Benny impersonation}

Joke
 

On Mon, 10 Dec 2007 17:22:16 -0500, Gene Kearns
wrote:

On Sun, 9 Dec 2007 14:16:51 -0500, Eisboch penned the following well
considered thoughts to the readers of rec.boats:


"Gene Kearns" wrote in message
. ..

Anathema!....... Land Shark, instead, if you please.



For those who were as confused as I ....

http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/01455e.htm

Eisboch (good one, Gene)

I guess I was just feeling sesquipedalian......

New word of the day calander?