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-   -   Speaking of tomatoes - OT (https://www.boatbanter.com/general/72591-speaking-tomatoes-ot.html)

JohnH August 8th 06 01:43 AM

Speaking of tomatoes - OT
 
A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to get her
tomatoes to turn red.
One day while taking a stroll she came upon a gentlemen neighbor who had
the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes she had ever seen. The
woman asked the gentlemen, "What do you do to get your tomatoes so red?"

The gentlemen responded, "Well, twice a day I stand in front of my tomato
garden and expose myself, and my tomatoes turn red from blushing so much."

Well, the woman was so impressed, she decided to try doing the same thing
in her tomato garden to see if it would work. So, twice a day for two weeks
she exposed herself to her garden hoping for the best.

One day the gentlemen was passing by and asked the woman, "By the way, How
did you make out? Did your tomatoes turn red?"

"No" she replied, "but my cucumbers are enormous."


--
******************************************
***** Have a Spectacular Day! *****
******************************************

John

basskisser August 8th 06 08:08 PM

Speaking of tomatoes - OT
 

JohnH wrote:
A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to get her
tomatoes to turn red.
One day while taking a stroll she came upon a gentlemen neighbor who had
the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes she had ever seen. The
woman asked the gentlemen, "What do you do to get your tomatoes so red?"

The gentlemen responded, "Well, twice a day I stand in front of my tomato
garden and expose myself, and my tomatoes turn red from blushing so much."

Well, the woman was so impressed, she decided to try doing the same thing
in her tomato garden to see if it would work. So, twice a day for two weeks
she exposed herself to her garden hoping for the best.

One day the gentlemen was passing by and asked the woman, "By the way, How
did you make out? Did your tomatoes turn red?"

"No" she replied, "but my cucumbers are enormous."


A lady goes up to her husband, and tells him, "I'm thinking of getting
breast implants." The husband says, "I've got a sure fire way to make
your boobs bigger, and it won't cost us a fortune."
Every day, take a wab of toilet paper and rub it between your boobs.
Every day.
She does so for a month, and tells him it isn't working. He says, it
may take longer. After a year, she tells him, "Look, it's been a year,
and my boobs haven't grown at all."
He says, "that's odd, it worked for your butt!"


JohnH August 8th 06 10:12 PM

Speaking of tomatoes - OT
 
On 8 Aug 2006 12:08:47 -0700, "basskisser" wrote:


JohnH wrote:
A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to get her
tomatoes to turn red.
One day while taking a stroll she came upon a gentlemen neighbor who had
the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes she had ever seen. The
woman asked the gentlemen, "What do you do to get your tomatoes so red?"

The gentlemen responded, "Well, twice a day I stand in front of my tomato
garden and expose myself, and my tomatoes turn red from blushing so much."

Well, the woman was so impressed, she decided to try doing the same thing
in her tomato garden to see if it would work. So, twice a day for two weeks
she exposed herself to her garden hoping for the best.

One day the gentlemen was passing by and asked the woman, "By the way, How
did you make out? Did your tomatoes turn red?"

"No" she replied, "but my cucumbers are enormous."


A lady goes up to her husband, and tells him, "I'm thinking of getting
breast implants." The husband says, "I've got a sure fire way to make
your boobs bigger, and it won't cost us a fortune."
Every day, take a wab of toilet paper and rub it between your boobs.
Every day.
She does so for a month, and tells him it isn't working. He says, it
may take longer. After a year, she tells him, "Look, it's been a year,
and my boobs haven't grown at all."
He says, "that's odd, it worked for your butt!"


LMAO! The wife too!
--
******************************************
***** Have a Spectacular Day! *****
******************************************

John

JohnH August 9th 06 03:25 PM

Speaking of tomatoes - OT
 
On 9 Aug 2006 05:35:09 -0700, "basskisser" wrote:


JohnH wrote:
On 8 Aug 2006 12:08:47 -0700, "basskisser" wrote:


JohnH wrote:
A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to get her
tomatoes to turn red.
One day while taking a stroll she came upon a gentlemen neighbor who had
the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes she had ever seen. The
woman asked the gentlemen, "What do you do to get your tomatoes so red?"

The gentlemen responded, "Well, twice a day I stand in front of my tomato
garden and expose myself, and my tomatoes turn red from blushing so much."

Well, the woman was so impressed, she decided to try doing the same thing
in her tomato garden to see if it would work. So, twice a day for two weeks
she exposed herself to her garden hoping for the best.

One day the gentlemen was passing by and asked the woman, "By the way, How
did you make out? Did your tomatoes turn red?"

"No" she replied, "but my cucumbers are enormous."


A lady goes up to her husband, and tells him, "I'm thinking of getting
breast implants." The husband says, "I've got a sure fire way to make
your boobs bigger, and it won't cost us a fortune."
Every day, take a wab of toilet paper and rub it between your boobs.
Every day.
She does so for a month, and tells him it isn't working. He says, it
may take longer. After a year, she tells him, "Look, it's been a year,
and my boobs haven't grown at all."
He says, "that's odd, it worked for your butt!"


LMAO! The wife too!


Yeah, those don't bother my wife, either. Good to have a woman like
that!


It's good to have a woman who thinks fried green tomatoes are a gift from
Heaven!
--
******************************************
***** Have a Spectacular Day! *****
******************************************

John

basskisser August 9th 06 04:51 PM

Speaking of tomatoes - OT
 

JohnH wrote:
On 9 Aug 2006 05:35:09 -0700, "basskisser" wrote:


JohnH wrote:
On 8 Aug 2006 12:08:47 -0700, "basskisser" wrote:


JohnH wrote:
A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to get her
tomatoes to turn red.
One day while taking a stroll she came upon a gentlemen neighbor who had
the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes she had ever seen. The
woman asked the gentlemen, "What do you do to get your tomatoes so red?"

The gentlemen responded, "Well, twice a day I stand in front of my tomato
garden and expose myself, and my tomatoes turn red from blushing so much."

Well, the woman was so impressed, she decided to try doing the same thing
in her tomato garden to see if it would work. So, twice a day for two weeks
she exposed herself to her garden hoping for the best.

One day the gentlemen was passing by and asked the woman, "By the way, How
did you make out? Did your tomatoes turn red?"

"No" she replied, "but my cucumbers are enormous."


A lady goes up to her husband, and tells him, "I'm thinking of getting
breast implants." The husband says, "I've got a sure fire way to make
your boobs bigger, and it won't cost us a fortune."
Every day, take a wab of toilet paper and rub it between your boobs.
Every day.
She does so for a month, and tells him it isn't working. He says, it
may take longer. After a year, she tells him, "Look, it's been a year,
and my boobs haven't grown at all."
He says, "that's odd, it worked for your butt!"

LMAO! The wife too!


Yeah, those don't bother my wife, either. Good to have a woman like
that!


It's good to have a woman who thinks fried green tomatoes are a gift from
Heaven!
--



*I* think they're a gift! Around these parts, it's hard to find a
place, outside of a chain, that doesn't have them when in season. My
favorites are from Paula Deen, check them out:
http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/reci..._26735,00.html



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