HOMELAND SECURITY DEPARTMENT UNVEILS CHENEY ALERT SYSTEM
 

Cheney will have to lose the bevy of medico that watches him like
chicken hawks at a playground for his random, violent and senseless
attacks to have full effect.
Besides, he is just trying to emulate Goring. And non to well.
JR

Harry Krause wrote:
HOMELAND SECURITY DEPARTMENT UNVEILS CHENEY ALERT SYSTEM
Color-coded System Would Warn Nation of Future Attacks by Veep

Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff announced today that his
department would immediately implement a "Cheney Alert" system to warn
Americans if an attack by Vice President Dick Cheney is imminent.

The Department of Homeland Security has been under pressure to respond
to the widespread panic and anxiety that have gripped the nation since
Mr. Cheney shot and wounded a fellow quail hunter while on a hunting
trip in Texas over the weekend.

Across the country, people have holed up in their homes and hoarded food
and water, fearing another senseless attack by the gun-toting vice
president.

"What we have learned, the hard way, is that Dick Cheney can attack
without warning," Mr. Chertoff said. "It is our hope that with this
Cheney Alert system we will be able to give the American people some
warning before he strikes again."

The alert system, with five color-coded levels indicating the likelihood
of another brutal pellet attack by the Vice President, was derided by
some in Congress such as Sen. Joseph Biden (D-Del), who likened it to
"closing the barn door after the horses have escaped."

"The fact is, the White House already had ample warning that Dick Cheney
was going to strike, and they sat on their hands and did nothing," Mr.
Biden said, referring to a Presidential Daily Brief dated February 4
with the title, "Dick Cheney Determined to Strike in US."


From

www.borowitzreports.com

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