New International Signal Code (humorous)
 

The Summer 2004 issue of Forbes Magazine has a page of signal flags with the
new international meanings.

They a

Alpha: I am drunk. Keep well clear of me

Bravo: My vessel cost more than yours.

Charlie: I am on fire and have dangerous cargo aboard and frankly, it is not
much fun.

Delta: Donald Trump aboard. Stay well clear of me.

Echo: Erectile dysfunction. I require Viagra

Foxtrot: I am defibrillating. Stand clear.

Golf: Spouse overboard. I am increasing my speed.

Hotel: My engine is making very strange noises. Someone do something.

India: I wish to have sex with you.

Juliet: Stop! In the name of Love, before you break my heart.

Kilo: Alter your course

Lima: No, you alter course

Mike: I am heavy in tech stocks and diversifying my portfolio

November: I require help with my luggage

Oscar: I am a Democrat and fee guilty about owning a yacht.

Papa: I am a Republican. You should see my *other* boat!

Quebec: I am gay. Your signal flags clash.

Romeo: I am a trial lawyer. Please collide with me.

Sierra: I cannot afford this vessel.

Tango: Fine, don't alter course. Do not blame me when you wake up with my bow
up your stern

Uniform: Union Vessel. You gotta problem with that?

Victor: I am out of Vodka and declaring an emergency.

Whisky: I am out of scotch. My situation is critical.

X-Ray: I require a hug

Yankee: Something repulsive with tentacles has wrapped itself around my rudder.

Zulu: Whatever.