Jon Carrol
SFGate

Some of us have been in despair. We have been wandering around saying,
"Oh, oh, Karl Rove is a genius" and "Oh, oh, George Bush is beloved"
and "Oh, oh, I must move to New Zealand and raise chamois." And we have
been confirmed in our despair by the electronic media, which
effectively parrot Bush administration talking points, no matter how
contradictory, and by the other media, which seem to believe it would
be unwise to tangle with such a popular leader as Bush.

And meanwhile, no-bid contracts are being let to anyone who ever had a
beer with Dick Cheney, and science has become hostage to ideology, and
a war is being run very badly except for the people making whole lots
of money off it, and innocent people are dying (oh yeah, that), and
environmental commissions are being stocked with people who don't
believe in environmental commissions, and our unconfirmed, but
nonetheless, real U.N. ambassador is a man who hates the United
Nations.

And God forbid you should ever be A) a criminal defendant, B) an Arab
or Arab American, or C) both.

This even though George Bush barely won both presidential elections --
and in a more perfect world, he probably would have lost the first one
and maybe even the second -- and large numbers of people, not just
sushi-eating tree kissers, have been dubious about the Iraq war from
the start, and many of those expressing doubt were, like, actually in
the military.

It was this values thing, we believed. Ever so many citizens hated
abortion and pornography and gays and loved school prayer, and they
would vote for George Bush even if he wore a burqa and robbed banks on
the weekends. (No need for him to rob banks, though -- they'll give him
the money gladly, in exchange for consideration.) Oh, there was
wailing, and the wailing was much enjoyed by the talking heads and
their large soft bodies.

But here's the thing: Even people who are against abortion want a
government that works well. Even people who are in favor of school
prayer want a war to be well planned and well executed. Even people who
think homosexuality is a sin want a government that does not skim
millions off the top and give the money to its buddies. Sure, that's
the way Burkina Faso runs, but we're supposed to be at least notionally
honest. The Bush administration is not honest, and everybody pretty
much knows that by now, and they're not crazy about it.

Nation to Bush: Being Christian is not enough.

And everybody understands that income must more or less equal
expenditures, even in government work. I think maybe even everyone
understands that, what with Katrina and Rita and all, the "lower taxes
stimulate the economy" argument is an imperfect model. And, saints
alive, the poll numbers indicate that people do not trust Bush on the
economy. Bush did this photo op speech from Jackson Square in New
Orleans (for which Karl Rove trucked in generators that he did not
leave behind to help the citizens of New Orleans get needed
electricity), and his poll numbers went down.

Rove's new problem: How to manipulate the press without the press
focusing on the cynical manipulation. How to create a photo op that
does not look like a photo op. How to present the president as being on
top of things when he is not on top of things. This column is being
written before Hurricane Rita makes landfall, but I bet the president
and every FEMA official in the universe will be on the scene waving in
helicopters and carrying nursing home patients to waiting ambulances.
And still, the American electorate may be cynical.

The problem is, we're in a lot of trouble, and no partisan
we-told-you-so-but-did-you-listen? hand-rubbing is going to make much
difference. We've got three more years of this nonsense; Congress is
essentially worthless; no one on any side has a satisfactory exit plan
for Iraq; and meantime the climate warms up and the frogs disappear and
13 million kids go to bed hungry every night.

It's as if we're in a car, and we've finally convinced the passengers
that there's no one driving, but there's still no one driving and we've
got a full tank of gas. It's nice that we have achieved solidarity with
our conservative brothers and sisters, but maybe someone could figure
out how to climb into the front seat.

Someday, we may look back on this and laugh. How exactly did this guy
get to be president? Not that he's the first empty suit to occupy the
office, but he's the first empty suit with really smart advisers
servicing really greedy constituents.

Ah, well -- maybe Halliburton will get the contract to rebuild America.
There's a win-win scenario.



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Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, and here I am, stuck in
the middle with, as it turns out, most of America. Solidarity!