Football Truths
 

What does the average Alabama player get on his SATs? Drool.

How many Michigan State freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb? None. That's
a sophomore course.

How did the Auburn football player die from drinking milk? The cow fell on him.

Two Texas A&M football players were walking in the woods. One of them said, "Look, a dead bird." The
other looked up in the sky and said, "Where?"

What do you say to a Florida State University football player dressed in a three-piece suit? "Will
the defendant please rise."

If three Rutgers football players are in the same car, who is driving? The police officer.

How can you tell if a Clemson football player has a girlfriend? There's tobacco juice on both sides
of the pickup truck.

What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders in one room? A full set of teeth.

University of Michigan Coach Jim Harbaugh is only going to dress half of his players for the game
this week; the other half will have to dress themselves.

Why did the Tennessee linebacker steal a police car? He saw "911" on the side and thought it was a
Porsche.

How do you get a former Illinois football player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.

**and the best for last**

How is the Kansas football team like an opossum? They play dead at home and get squashed on the
road.