BoatBanter.com

BoatBanter.com (https://www.boatbanter.com/)
-   General (https://www.boatbanter.com/general/)
-   -   Outdoorsey Man (https://www.boatbanter.com/general/168934-outdoorsey-man.html)

John H.[_5_] September 22nd 15 09:56 PM

Outdoorsey Man
 

During his physical, the doctor asked the patient
about his daily activity level.

He described a typical day this way…..

"Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded along the edge of a lake,
drank eight beers, escaped from wild dogs in the heavy brush,
jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake,
marched up and down several rocky hills,
stood in a patch of poison ivy,
crawled out of quicksand
and took four leaks behind big trees."

Inspired by the story, the doctor said,
"You must be one hell of an outdoors man!"

"NAH," he replied, "I'm just an average golfer."
--

Ban idiots, not guns!

[email protected] September 23rd 15 12:05 AM

Outdoorsey Man
 
On Tue, 22 Sep 2015 16:56:29 -0400, John H.
wrote:


During his physical, the doctor asked the patient
about his daily activity level.

He described a typical day this way…..

"Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded along the edge of a lake,
drank eight beers, escaped from wild dogs in the heavy brush,
jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake,
marched up and down several rocky hills,
stood in a patch of poison ivy,
crawled out of quicksand
and took four leaks behind big trees."

Inspired by the story, the doctor said,
"You must be one hell of an outdoors man!"

"NAH," he replied, "I'm just an average golfer."


Sounds like the way I used to play golf. I told the guys, this may be
a walk in the park for you but it is a steeple chase for me.
That was until I figured out Walmart sells balls for $4 a dozen.
Now I drop one out in the short grass and whack it.


John H.[_5_] September 23rd 15 01:49 AM

Outdoorsey Man
 
On Tue, 22 Sep 2015 19:05:08 -0400, wrote:

On Tue, 22 Sep 2015 16:56:29 -0400, John H.
wrote:


During his physical, the doctor asked the patient
about his daily activity level.

He described a typical day this way…..

"Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded along the edge of a lake,
drank eight beers, escaped from wild dogs in the heavy brush,
jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake,
marched up and down several rocky hills,
stood in a patch of poison ivy,
crawled out of quicksand
and took four leaks behind big trees."

Inspired by the story, the doctor said,
"You must be one hell of an outdoors man!"

"NAH," he replied, "I'm just an average golfer."


Sounds like the way I used to play golf. I told the guys, this may be
a walk in the park for you but it is a steeple chase for me.
That was until I figured out Walmart sells balls for $4 a dozen.
Now I drop one out in the short grass and whack it.


One of the guys I regularly play with looks for balls anytime there's a delay. He
provides bags of new Nike's if I answer yes to, "Do you need some balls?" I said once
I would take some. He's given me about 200. And he asks just about every other time
we play. Oh, and he doesn't delay our foursome at all.
--

Ban idiots, not guns!

[email protected] September 23rd 15 03:22 AM

Outdoorsey Man
 
On Tue, 22 Sep 2015 20:49:17 -0400, John H.
wrote:

On Tue, 22 Sep 2015 19:05:08 -0400, wrote:

On Tue, 22 Sep 2015 16:56:29 -0400, John H.
wrote:


During his physical, the doctor asked the patient
about his daily activity level.

He described a typical day this way…..

"Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded along the edge of a lake,
drank eight beers, escaped from wild dogs in the heavy brush,
jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake,
marched up and down several rocky hills,
stood in a patch of poison ivy,
crawled out of quicksand
and took four leaks behind big trees."

Inspired by the story, the doctor said,
"You must be one hell of an outdoors man!"

"NAH," he replied, "I'm just an average golfer."


Sounds like the way I used to play golf. I told the guys, this may be
a walk in the park for you but it is a steeple chase for me.
That was until I figured out Walmart sells balls for $4 a dozen.
Now I drop one out in the short grass and whack it.


One of the guys I regularly play with looks for balls anytime there's a delay. He
provides bags of new Nike's if I answer yes to, "Do you need some balls?" I said once
I would take some. He's given me about 200. And he asks just about every other time
we play. Oh, and he doesn't delay our foursome at all.


I will look for balls if there is nobody behind us and the other guys
are fussing over a shot. If we are moving, I just drop one and go.
I have played 9 or 10 holes with the same ball, then sprayed 3 into
the woods on the next hole.
I am glad I am not counting them ;-)

I have also stood in the tee box, "Tin Cup" style and smacked four in
the water until I get one up. For me it is all about making some good
shots and I don't care about the bad ones. Have fun and hit the ball,
take a nice walk and get some fresh air.. The rest of that dogma is
not necessary.

Califbill September 23rd 15 03:49 AM

Outdoorsey Man
 
wrote:
On Tue, 22 Sep 2015 20:49:17 -0400, John H.
wrote:

On Tue, 22 Sep 2015 19:05:08 -0400, wrote:

On Tue, 22 Sep 2015 16:56:29 -0400, John H.
wrote:


During his physical, the doctor asked the patient
about his daily activity level.

He described a typical day this way…..

"Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded along the edge of a lake,
drank eight beers, escaped from wild dogs in the heavy brush,
jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake,
marched up and down several rocky hills,
stood in a patch of poison ivy,
crawled out of quicksand
and took four leaks behind big trees."

Inspired by the story, the doctor said,
"You must be one hell of an outdoors man!"

"NAH," he replied, "I'm just an average golfer."

Sounds like the way I used to play golf. I told the guys, this may be
a walk in the park for you but it is a steeple chase for me.
That was until I figured out Walmart sells balls for $4 a dozen.
Now I drop one out in the short grass and whack it.


One of the guys I regularly play with looks for balls anytime there's a delay. He
provides bags of new Nike's if I answer yes to, "Do you need some balls?" I said once
I would take some. He's given me about 200. And he asks just about every other time
we play. Oh, and he doesn't delay our foursome at all.


I will look for balls if there is nobody behind us and the other guys
are fussing over a shot. If we are moving, I just drop one and go.
I have played 9 or 10 holes with the same ball, then sprayed 3 into
the woods on the next hole.
I am glad I am not counting them ;-)

I have also stood in the tee box, "Tin Cup" style and smacked four in
the water until I get one up. For me it is all about making some good
shots and I don't care about the bad ones. Have fun and hit the ball,
take a nice walk and get some fresh air.. The rest of that dogma is
not necessary.


John Madden plays that way. Bad shot? FIDO, forget it and drive on. He
said at the cost of golf, a lost ball is minor. Besides there are no lost
balls. Only stolen balls. Later someone will pick it up and put it in
their pocket. Then is a stolen ball.

[email protected] September 23rd 15 07:19 AM

Outdoorsey Man
 
On Tue, 22 Sep 2015 21:49:57 -0500, Califbill billnews wrote:

wrote:
On Tue, 22 Sep 2015 20:49:17 -0400, John H.
wrote:

On Tue, 22 Sep 2015 19:05:08 -0400, wrote:

On Tue, 22 Sep 2015 16:56:29 -0400, John H.
wrote:


During his physical, the doctor asked the patient
about his daily activity level.

He described a typical day this way…..

"Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded along the edge of a lake,
drank eight beers, escaped from wild dogs in the heavy brush,
jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake,
marched up and down several rocky hills,
stood in a patch of poison ivy,
crawled out of quicksand
and took four leaks behind big trees."

Inspired by the story, the doctor said,
"You must be one hell of an outdoors man!"

"NAH," he replied, "I'm just an average golfer."

Sounds like the way I used to play golf. I told the guys, this may be
a walk in the park for you but it is a steeple chase for me.
That was until I figured out Walmart sells balls for $4 a dozen.
Now I drop one out in the short grass and whack it.

One of the guys I regularly play with looks for balls anytime there's a delay. He
provides bags of new Nike's if I answer yes to, "Do you need some balls?" I said once
I would take some. He's given me about 200. And he asks just about every other time
we play. Oh, and he doesn't delay our foursome at all.


I will look for balls if there is nobody behind us and the other guys
are fussing over a shot. If we are moving, I just drop one and go.
I have played 9 or 10 holes with the same ball, then sprayed 3 into
the woods on the next hole.
I am glad I am not counting them ;-)

I have also stood in the tee box, "Tin Cup" style and smacked four in
the water until I get one up. For me it is all about making some good
shots and I don't care about the bad ones. Have fun and hit the ball,
take a nice walk and get some fresh air.. The rest of that dogma is
not necessary.


John Madden plays that way. Bad shot? FIDO, forget it and drive on. He
said at the cost of golf, a lost ball is minor. Besides there are no lost
balls. Only stolen balls. Later someone will pick it up and put it in
their pocket. Then is a stolen ball.


At my wife's club they encourage "ready golf" to the point that
looking for a lost ball for more than a minute is frowned on and they
keep a barrel; of recovered balls in the pro shop. Load up and go.
The divers get to keep all they find in the lakes but the grounds
keepers return all they find to the pro shop. In a course full of
palmettos, that is a lot

John H.[_5_] September 23rd 15 11:37 AM

Outdoorsey Man
 
On Tue, 22 Sep 2015 22:22:59 -0400, wrote:

On Tue, 22 Sep 2015 20:49:17 -0400, John H.
wrote:

On Tue, 22 Sep 2015 19:05:08 -0400,
wrote:

On Tue, 22 Sep 2015 16:56:29 -0400, John H.
wrote:


During his physical, the doctor asked the patient
about his daily activity level.

He described a typical day this way…..

"Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded along the edge of a lake,
drank eight beers, escaped from wild dogs in the heavy brush,
jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake,
marched up and down several rocky hills,
stood in a patch of poison ivy,
crawled out of quicksand
and took four leaks behind big trees."

Inspired by the story, the doctor said,
"You must be one hell of an outdoors man!"

"NAH," he replied, "I'm just an average golfer."

Sounds like the way I used to play golf. I told the guys, this may be
a walk in the park for you but it is a steeple chase for me.
That was until I figured out Walmart sells balls for $4 a dozen.
Now I drop one out in the short grass and whack it.


One of the guys I regularly play with looks for balls anytime there's a delay. He
provides bags of new Nike's if I answer yes to, "Do you need some balls?" I said once
I would take some. He's given me about 200. And he asks just about every other time
we play. Oh, and he doesn't delay our foursome at all.


I will look for balls if there is nobody behind us and the other guys
are fussing over a shot. If we are moving, I just drop one and go.
I have played 9 or 10 holes with the same ball, then sprayed 3 into
the woods on the next hole.
I am glad I am not counting them ;-)

I have also stood in the tee box, "Tin Cup" style and smacked four in
the water until I get one up. For me it is all about making some good
shots and I don't care about the bad ones. Have fun and hit the ball,
take a nice walk and get some fresh air.. The rest of that dogma is
not necessary.


Wednesdays is league play day. We can't just go shooting balls willy-nilly. Many of
the rounds are team events, and we're always playing for money! Once I came in first
in my division and won a whole $7.
--

Ban idiots, not guns!

John H.[_5_] September 23rd 15 11:39 AM

Outdoorsey Man
 
On Wed, 23 Sep 2015 02:19:29 -0400, wrote:

On Tue, 22 Sep 2015 21:49:57 -0500, Califbill billnews wrote:

wrote:
On Tue, 22 Sep 2015 20:49:17 -0400, John H.
wrote:

On Tue, 22 Sep 2015 19:05:08 -0400,
wrote:

On Tue, 22 Sep 2015 16:56:29 -0400, John H.
wrote:


During his physical, the doctor asked the patient
about his daily activity level.

He described a typical day this way…..

"Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded along the edge of a lake,
drank eight beers, escaped from wild dogs in the heavy brush,
jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake,
marched up and down several rocky hills,
stood in a patch of poison ivy,
crawled out of quicksand
and took four leaks behind big trees."

Inspired by the story, the doctor said,
"You must be one hell of an outdoors man!"

"NAH," he replied, "I'm just an average golfer."

Sounds like the way I used to play golf. I told the guys, this may be
a walk in the park for you but it is a steeple chase for me.
That was until I figured out Walmart sells balls for $4 a dozen.
Now I drop one out in the short grass and whack it.

One of the guys I regularly play with looks for balls anytime there's a delay. He
provides bags of new Nike's if I answer yes to, "Do you need some balls?" I said once
I would take some. He's given me about 200. And he asks just about every other time
we play. Oh, and he doesn't delay our foursome at all.

I will look for balls if there is nobody behind us and the other guys
are fussing over a shot. If we are moving, I just drop one and go.
I have played 9 or 10 holes with the same ball, then sprayed 3 into
the woods on the next hole.
I am glad I am not counting them ;-)

I have also stood in the tee box, "Tin Cup" style and smacked four in
the water until I get one up. For me it is all about making some good
shots and I don't care about the bad ones. Have fun and hit the ball,
take a nice walk and get some fresh air.. The rest of that dogma is
not necessary.


John Madden plays that way. Bad shot? FIDO, forget it and drive on. He
said at the cost of golf, a lost ball is minor. Besides there are no lost
balls. Only stolen balls. Later someone will pick it up and put it in
their pocket. Then is a stolen ball.


At my wife's club they encourage "ready golf" to the point that
looking for a lost ball for more than a minute is frowned on and they
keep a barrel; of recovered balls in the pro shop. Load up and go.
The divers get to keep all they find in the lakes but the grounds
keepers return all they find to the pro shop. In a course full of
palmettos, that is a lot


It's not the ball, it's the stroke that counts!
--

Ban idiots, not guns!

[email protected] September 23rd 15 04:19 PM

Outdoorsey Man
 
On Wed, 23 Sep 2015 06:37:47 -0400, John H.
wrote:

On Tue, 22 Sep 2015 22:22:59 -0400, wrote:

On Tue, 22 Sep 2015 20:49:17 -0400, John H.
wrote:

On Tue, 22 Sep 2015 19:05:08 -0400,
wrote:

On Tue, 22 Sep 2015 16:56:29 -0400, John H.
wrote:


During his physical, the doctor asked the patient
about his daily activity level.

He described a typical day this way…..

"Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded along the edge of a lake,
drank eight beers, escaped from wild dogs in the heavy brush,
jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake,
marched up and down several rocky hills,
stood in a patch of poison ivy,
crawled out of quicksand
and took four leaks behind big trees."

Inspired by the story, the doctor said,
"You must be one hell of an outdoors man!"

"NAH," he replied, "I'm just an average golfer."

Sounds like the way I used to play golf. I told the guys, this may be
a walk in the park for you but it is a steeple chase for me.
That was until I figured out Walmart sells balls for $4 a dozen.
Now I drop one out in the short grass and whack it.

One of the guys I regularly play with looks for balls anytime there's a delay. He
provides bags of new Nike's if I answer yes to, "Do you need some balls?" I said once
I would take some. He's given me about 200. And he asks just about every other time
we play. Oh, and he doesn't delay our foursome at all.


I will look for balls if there is nobody behind us and the other guys
are fussing over a shot. If we are moving, I just drop one and go.
I have played 9 or 10 holes with the same ball, then sprayed 3 into
the woods on the next hole.
I am glad I am not counting them ;-)

I have also stood in the tee box, "Tin Cup" style and smacked four in
the water until I get one up. For me it is all about making some good
shots and I don't care about the bad ones. Have fun and hit the ball,
take a nice walk and get some fresh air.. The rest of that dogma is
not necessary.


Wednesdays is league play day. We can't just go shooting balls willy-nilly. Many of
the rounds are team events, and we're always playing for money! Once I came in first
in my division and won a whole $7.


I don't play that game. I just hit the ball.


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 12:14 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Copyright ©2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright ©2004 - 2014 BoatBanter.com