Headlines from 2059
 

HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2059

Ozone created by electric
cars now killing millions in
the seventh largest Country
in the world, Mexifornia,
formerly known as California.

White minorities still
trying to have English
recognized as the third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens
Northwestern United States
crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally!
Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to
reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Iran still closed off;
physicists estimate it will
take at least 10 more years
before radioactivity
decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for
global help after being
taken over by Jamaica.
No other country comes
forward to help the
beleaguered nation!

Last Castro finally dies
at age 112; Cuban cigars
can now be imported
legally, but President
Chelsea Clinton has
banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he
will run for President in 2060.

Postal Service raises
price of first class stamp
to $17.89 and reduces
mail delivery to
Wednesdays only.

Average weight of
Americans drops to 250 lbs.

85-year $75.8 billion study:
Diet and exercise
is the key to weight loss.


Global cooling blamed
for citrus crop failure
for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.

Abortion clinics now
available in every High
School in United States.

Senate still blocking
drilling in ANWR even
though gas is selling
for 4532 Pesos per liter
and gas stations are
only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.

Massachusetts executes
last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules any
punishment of criminals
violates their civil rights.

A Couple Finally Had
Sexual Harmony,
They had simultaneous
Headaches.


Average height of NBA
players is now nine feet
seven inches with only 5
illegitimate children.


New federal law requires
that all nail clippers,
screwdrivers, fly
swatters and rolled-up
newspapers must be
registered by January 2060.

IRS sets lowest tax rate
at 75 percent.

Floruba voters still
having trouble with
voting machines.
--

"The modern definition of 'racist' is someone who's winning an argument
with a liberal."

....Peter Brimelow (Author)
(Thanks, Luddite!)

Headlines from 2059
 

On 10/28/2014 5:08 PM, Poco Loco wrote:
HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2059

Ozone created by electric
cars now killing millions in
the seventh largest Country
in the world, Mexifornia,
formerly known as California.

White minorities still
trying to have English
recognized as the third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens
Northwestern United States
crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally!
Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to
reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Iran still closed off;
physicists estimate it will
take at least 10 more years
before radioactivity
decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for
global help after being
taken over by Jamaica.
No other country comes
forward to help the
beleaguered nation!

Last Castro finally dies
at age 112; Cuban cigars
can now be imported
legally, but President
Chelsea Clinton has
banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he
will run for President in 2060.

Postal Service raises
price of first class stamp
to $17.89 and reduces
mail delivery to
Wednesdays only.

Average weight of
Americans drops to 250 lbs.

85-year $75.8 billion study:
Diet and exercise
is the key to weight loss.


Global cooling blamed
for citrus crop failure
for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.

Abortion clinics now
available in every High
School in United States.

Senate still blocking
drilling in ANWR even
though gas is selling
for 4532 Pesos per liter
and gas stations are
only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.

Massachusetts executes
last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules any
punishment of criminals
violates their civil rights.

A Couple Finally Had
Sexual Harmony,
They had simultaneous
Headaches.


Average height of NBA
players is now nine feet
seven inches with only 5
illegitimate children.


New federal law requires
that all nail clippers,
screwdrivers, fly
swatters and rolled-up
newspapers must be
registered by January 2060.

IRS sets lowest tax rate
at 75 percent.

Floruba voters still
having trouble with
voting machines.
--

"The modern definition of 'racist' is someone who's winning an argument
with a liberal."

...Peter Brimelow (Author)
(Thanks, Luddite!)


Wow... lol. Ooooops, does laughing at this make me a tea party member?
No, assuming that by my troll would just be ignorant... :)

Headlines from 2059
 

On 10/28/14 6:28 PM, KC wrote:
On 10/28/2014 5:08 PM, Poco Loco wrote:
HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2059



Descendants of Scotty Ingerfool recall with smiles
his inability to get and keep a decent job for
most of his life.


--
A vote for any Republican is a vote AGAINST:

Social Security, Medicare, Minimum Wage, Fair Pay, Food Stamps, Clean
Air and Water, Modest Gun Regulations, Public Schools, Rebuilding
Infrastructure and Good Jobs, Women's Rights, Veterans’ Rights, LGBT
Rights, and, of course, Your Right to Vote.

Headlines from 2059
 

On Tue, 28 Oct 2014 17:08:22 -0400, Poco Loco
wrote:

HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2059

Ozone created by electric
cars now killing millions in
the seventh largest Country
in the world, Mexifornia,
formerly known as California.

White minorities still
trying to have English
recognized as the third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens
Northwestern United States
crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally!
Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to
reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Iran still closed off;
physicists estimate it will
take at least 10 more years
before radioactivity
decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for
global help after being
taken over by Jamaica.
No other country comes
forward to help the
beleaguered nation!

Last Castro finally dies
at age 112; Cuban cigars
can now be imported
legally, but President
Chelsea Clinton has
banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he
will run for President in 2060.

Postal Service raises
price of first class stamp
to $17.89 and reduces
mail delivery to
Wednesdays only.

Average weight of
Americans drops to 250 lbs.

85-year $75.8 billion study:
Diet and exercise
is the key to weight loss.


Global cooling blamed
for citrus crop failure
for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.

Abortion clinics now
available in every High
School in United States.

Senate still blocking
drilling in ANWR even
though gas is selling
for 4532 Pesos per liter
and gas stations are
only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.

Massachusetts executes
last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules any
punishment of criminals
violates their civil rights.

A Couple Finally Had
Sexual Harmony,
They had simultaneous
Headaches.


Average height of NBA
players is now nine feet
seven inches with only 5
illegitimate children.


New federal law requires
that all nail clippers,
screwdrivers, fly
swatters and rolled-up
newspapers must be
registered by January 2060.

IRS sets lowest tax rate
at 75 percent.

Floruba voters still
having trouble with
voting machines.

===

Some of those are fairly funny, others might just turn out to be true.

Headlines from 2059
 

Greg, we Illinoisans don't mean to take a torch from anyone really. However we doesn't to uphold our reputation y'know

Headlines from 2059
 

On 10/29/14 7:58 AM, Tim wrote:
Greg, we Illinoisans don't mean to take a torch from anyone really. However we doesn't to uphold our reputation y'know



I always thought it was "Illinoisians," not "Illinoisans," but maybe my
recollection is wrong. It's not one of the easy ones. :)

--
“There’s more idleness and abuse of government favors among the
economically privileged than among the ranks of the disadvantaged.” -
Norman Mailer

Headlines from 2059
 

Fumble fingers on an iPhone, Harry