For Tim...
 

THE BURGLAR:

A woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church services
when she was startled by an intruder. She caught the man in the act of
robbing her home and yelled: "Stop! Acts 2:38!"

(Acts 2:38 says: “Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized
every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins,
and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.”)

The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police
and explained what she had done. As the officer cuffed the man to take
him in, he asked the burglar: ‘Why did you just stand there? All the old
lady did was yell a scripture to you.’

‘Scripture?’ replied the burglar. ‘She said she had an Ax and Two 38s!