Inspired by the discussion of Timmy's enthusiastic, but not too thoughtful
or polite approach to kayak and canoe safety, I talked with my congressman,
Joe Spendit, the other day about the problem.

After we kicked it around for a while, I suggested that perhaps the Army
Corps of Engineers might be able to do something, since they have pretty
well blasted, bulldozed, and damned (sorry about that, I mean dammed, of
course) our larger rivers into arteries of commerce. Joe suggested that
maybe now was the time to turn our often hazardous creeks and smaller rivers
into water slides. The advantage being that the local towns could charge
admission and thus "regulate the commerce", relieving the Corps of a
cumbersome job and creating local revenue sources. Also the slides could
transfer some of the water into more useful applications at the bottom of
each slide. To be decided by the politicians, of course.

"Why", said Joe, "this would insure my election forever. Maybe the Senate
or, if I play my cards right, even ... President." The bill will be called,
of course, the Spendit Recreation and Waterslide Improvement Act. Joe is
first going to the local politicians to see "how many will come to the
trough", as he charmingly puts it.

Excuse me, I see a crowd of somewhat unkempt folks gathering in my front
yard carrying paddles and ropes. I'll leave now through the back.

John Adams