Americans with no abilities act in Congress
 

AMERICANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT (AWNAA)

WASHINGTON, DC (AP) - Congress is considering sweeping legislation, which
provides new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities
Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislation by advocates of the
millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.

"Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive
necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said
Barbara Boxer. "We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to
be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no
longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply
because they do a better job, or have some idea of what they are doing."

The President pointed to the success of the US Postal Service, which has a
long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to
performance. Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack job skills,
making this agency the single largest US employer of Persons of Inability.

Private sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination against
the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%), and home
improvement "warehouse" stores (65%). The DMV also has a great record of
hiring Persons of Inability (63%).

Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million "middle
man" positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little
real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and
performance.

Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given, to
guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The
legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations which maintain
a significant level of Persons of Inability in middle positions, and gives
a tax credit to small and medium businesses that agree to hire one
clueless
worker for every two talented hires!

Finally, the AWNA ACT contains tough new measures to make it more
difficult
to discriminate against the Nonabled, banning discriminatory interview
questions such as "Do you have any goals for the future?" or "Do you have
any skills or experience which relate to this job?"

"As a Nonabled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have
something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a
lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, MI due to her lack of notable
job
skills. "This new law should really help people like me." With the passage
of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens can finally
see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Said Senator Ted Kennedy, "It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and
every American citizen, regardless of his or her adequacy, with some sort
of space to take up in this great nation!"

Americans with no abilities act in Congress
 

"Lu Powell" wrote in message
...
AMERICANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT (AWNAA)



Here's another cite: http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28982

Americans with no abilities act in Congress
 

Lu Powell wrote:
AMERICANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT (AWNAA)

WASHINGTON, DC (AP) - Congress is considering sweeping legislation, which
provides new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities
Act (AWNAA)

Well, then, there's hope for part-time work for you.


--
Birther-Deather-Tenther-Teabagger:
Idiots All

Americans with no abilities act in Congress
 

"Lu Powell" wrote in message
...
AMERICANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT (AWNAA)
The President pointed to the success of the US Postal Service, which has a
long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to
performance. Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack job skills,
making this agency the single largest US employer of Persons of Inability.


Reminds me of one of my cousins... he worked at a letter carrier. Ok. Better
than hanging out in bars. Then, the PO offered him a promotion. He turned it
down because he thought it might be too stressful. He's still a carrier 10
years later. Now that's ambition and drive... er, walk mostly.

--
Nom=de=Plume

Americans with no abilities act in Congress
 

nom=de=plume wrote:
"Lu Powell" wrote in message
...
AMERICANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT (AWNAA)
The President pointed to the success of the US Postal Service, which has a
long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to
performance. Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack job skills,
making this agency the single largest US employer of Persons of Inability.


Reminds me of one of my cousins... he worked at a letter carrier. Ok. Better
than hanging out in bars. Then, the PO offered him a promotion. He turned it
down because he thought it might be too stressful. He's still a carrier 10
years later. Now that's ambition and drive... er, walk mostly.



There's nothing wrong with being a letter carrier. Hell, a couple of
posters here couldn't qualify for it.



--
Birther-Deather-Tenther-Teabagger:
Idiots All

Americans with no abilities act in Congress
 

"nom=de=plume" wrote in message
...
"Lu Powell" wrote in message
...
AMERICANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT (AWNAA)
The President pointed to the success of the US Postal Service, which has
a
long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to
performance. Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack job
skills,
making this agency the single largest US employer of Persons of
Inability.


Reminds me of one of my cousins... he worked at a letter carrier. Ok.
Better than hanging out in bars. Then, the PO offered him a promotion. He
turned it down because he thought it might be too stressful. He's still a
carrier 10 years later. Now that's ambition and drive... er, walk mostly.

--
Nom=de=Plume


I know what you mean. I have had uncles who worked for the railroads in
Florida turn down promotions to supervisor and substantial pay raises
because they didn't want to give up their union membership.

Americans with no abilities act in Congress
 

On Sep 7, 10:34*pm, "Lu Powell" wrote:
"nom=de=plume" wrote in message

...



"Lu Powell" wrote in message
...
AMERICANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT (AWNAA)
The President pointed to the success of the US Postal Service, which has
a
long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to
performance. Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack job
skills,
making this agency the single largest US employer of Persons of
Inability.

Reminds me of one of my cousins... he worked at a letter carrier. Ok.
Better than hanging out in bars. Then, the PO offered him a promotion. He
turned it down because he thought it might be too stressful. He's still a
carrier 10 years later. Now that's ambition and drive... er, walk mostly.

--
Nom=de=Plume

I know what you mean. I have had uncles who worked for the railroads in
Florida turn down promotions to supervisor and substantial pay raises
because they didn't want to give up their union membership.

"By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be
the boss and work twelve hours a day." (Robert Frost)

Americans with no abilities act in Congress
 

Lu Powell wrote:
AMERICANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT (AWNAA)

WASHINGTON, DC (AP) - Congress is considering sweeping legislation, which
provides new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities
Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislation by advocates of the
millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.

"Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive
necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said
Barbara Boxer. "We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to
be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no
longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply
because they do a better job, or have some idea of what they are doing."

The President pointed to the success of the US Postal Service, which has a
long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to
performance. Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack job skills,
making this agency the single largest US employer of Persons of Inability.

Private sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination against
the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%), and home
improvement "warehouse" stores (65%). The DMV also has a great record of
hiring Persons of Inability (63%).

Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million "middle
man" positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little
real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and
performance.

Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given, to
guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The
legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations which maintain
a significant level of Persons of Inability in middle positions, and gives
a tax credit to small and medium businesses that agree to hire one clueless
worker for every two talented hires!

Finally, the AWNA ACT contains tough new measures to make it more difficult
to discriminate against the Nonabled, banning discriminatory interview
questions such as "Do you have any goals for the future?" or "Do you have
any skills or experience which relate to this job?"

"As a Nonabled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have
something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a
lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, MI due to her lack of notable job
skills. "This new law should really help people like me." With the passage
of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens can finally
see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Said Senator Ted Kennedy, "It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and
every American citizen, regardless of his or her adequacy, with some sort
of space to take up in this great nation!"
Your assault on the Postal Workers is unwarranted. Their retirement is
no better than Social Security and they don't get it in addition to.
They are over supervised and continue stress. There is no percieved
gravy train except for perhaps some Supervisors.

Americans with no abilities act in Congress
 

On Mon, 7 Sep 2009 20:48:26 -0700 (PDT), Tim
wrote:



"By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be
the boss and work twelve hours a day." (Robert Frost)

Hehe. He forgot about the ass-kissing and politics that goes with the
12 hours. Not always of course, but you have to know what you're
getting into. I've seen plenty sell their soul.

--Vic

Americans with no abilities act in Congress
 

"Lu Powell" wrote in message
...

"nom=de=plume" wrote in message
...
"Lu Powell" wrote in message
...
AMERICANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT (AWNAA)
The President pointed to the success of the US Postal Service, which has
a
long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to
performance. Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack job
skills,
making this agency the single largest US employer of Persons of
Inability.


Reminds me of one of my cousins... he worked at a letter carrier. Ok.
Better than hanging out in bars. Then, the PO offered him a promotion. He
turned it down because he thought it might be too stressful. He's still a
carrier 10 years later. Now that's ambition and drive... er, walk mostly.

--
Nom=de=Plume


I know what you mean. I have had uncles who worked for the railroads in
Florida turn down promotions to supervisor and substantial pay raises
because they didn't want to give up their union membership.



He would have remained union. He just couldn't take the "stress" of a desk
job. lol

--
Nom=de=Plume