Still more subtle humor
 

From http://www.humorbin.com/showitem.asp?item=268:

(with apologies to Jeff Foxworthy of "You might be a redneck" fame)
You Might Be A Democrat If
a.. You think "ethics" is an eastern European country.
b.. You've named your kids with hyphenated first and last names.
c.. You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were
only willing to redistribute their wealth.
d.. You've ever referred to someone as a "bigot or Nazi".
e.. You've ever tried to prove Jesus was a married man.
f.. You oppose the death penalty, but support abortion.
g.. You don't support school choice for others, only for yourself.
h.. You think you might remember laughing once as an adult and feeling
guilty about it.
i.. You once broke loose at a party and inhaled, but don't admit it.
j.. You support diversity, as long as others agree with you.
k.. You've referred to moral fiber thinking it was a new man made textile.
l.. You've ever uttered the phrase, "you hypocrite".
m.. You've ever said, "the Bill Of Rights is outdated".
n.. You answer to "No One".
o.. You support PETA and Green Peace, but still eat beef, fish, lamb, and
wear leather garments.
p.. You protest your neighbor clearing their yard of weeds.
q.. You only let your kids watch PBS and listen to NPR.
r.. You scream at the thought of agreeing with a Republican.
s.. You've argued that Western values are no values.
t.. You agree that all the world's problems can be traced back to white
Anglo-Saxon men taking advantage of others.
u.. When people say "Marx," you think, "to bad his idea didn't work".
v.. You've ever yelled, "capitalist".
w.. You still wear the Birkenstocks you purchased in 1969.
x.. You argue that you need 300 laws to control guns.
y.. You really think that guns kill people. Not people kill people.
z.. You want to protest something but don't know what.
aa.. You've ever said "I support civil liberties, but not personal
liberties."
ab.. You will not admit that trees are a renewable resource.
ac.. You've ever said "reduce paper, save a tree".
ad.. You donate money because it makes you "feel good".
ae.. You came of age in the '60s and don't understand what went wrong.
af.. You justify lying cheating Democrats because Republicans lie and
cheat.
ag.. You ever start or end an argument on the phrase, "you are closed
minded".
ah.. You never told a child that Oscar the Grouch "lives in a trash can"
because he chooses to do so.
ai.. You think denial is a virtue.
aj.. You don't mind contributing 4 months of your salary to the
government. You're only sorry it can't be more.
ak.. You believe that everyone else is responsible for you but you.

--
"Every government interference in the economy consists of giving an unearned
benefit, extorted by force, to some men at the expense of others." - Ayn
Rand

Still more subtle humor
 

On Sep 2, 3:54*pm, "Lu Powell" wrote:
Fromhttp://www.humorbin.com/showitem.asp?item=268:

(with apologies to Jeff Foxworthy of "You might be a redneck" fame)
You Might Be A Democrat If
* a.. You think "ethics" is an eastern European country.
* b.. You've named your kids with hyphenated first and last names.
* c.. You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were
only willing to redistribute their wealth.
* d.. You've ever referred to someone as a "bigot or Nazi".
* e.. You've ever tried to prove Jesus was a married man.
* f.. You oppose the death penalty, but support abortion.
* g.. You don't support school choice for others, only for yourself.
* h.. You think you might remember laughing once as an adult and feeling
guilty about it.
* i.. You once broke loose at a party and inhaled, but don't admit it.
* j.. You support diversity, as long as others agree with you.
* k.. You've referred to moral fiber thinking it was a new man made textile.
* l.. You've ever uttered the phrase, "you hypocrite".
* m.. You've ever said, "the Bill Of Rights is outdated".
* n.. You answer to "No One".
* o.. You support PETA and Green Peace, but still eat beef, fish, lamb, and
wear leather garments.
* p.. You protest your neighbor clearing their yard of weeds.
* q.. You only let your kids watch PBS and listen to NPR.
* r.. You scream at the thought of agreeing with a Republican.
* s.. You've argued that Western values are no values.
* t.. You agree that all the world's problems can be traced back to white
Anglo-Saxon men taking advantage of others.
* u.. When people say "Marx," you think, "to bad his idea didn't work".
* v.. You've ever yelled, "capitalist".
* w.. You still wear the Birkenstocks you purchased in 1969.
* x.. You argue that you need 300 laws to control guns.
* y.. You really think that guns kill people. Not people kill people.
* z.. You want to protest something but don't know what.
* aa.. You've ever said "I support civil liberties, but not personal
liberties."
* ab.. You will not admit that trees are a renewable resource.
* ac.. You've ever said "reduce paper, save a tree".
* ad.. You donate money because it makes you "feel good".
* ae.. You came of age in the '60s and don't understand what went wrong..
* af.. You justify lying cheating Democrats because Republicans lie and
cheat.
* ag.. You ever start or end an argument on the phrase, "you are closed
minded".
* ah.. You never told a child that Oscar the Grouch "lives in a trash can"
because he chooses to do so.
* ai.. You think denial is a virtue.
* aj.. You don't mind contributing 4 months of your salary to the
government. You're only sorry it can't be more.
* ak.. You believe that everyone else is responsible for you but you.

--
"Every government interference in the economy consists of giving an unearned
benefit, extorted by force, to some men at the expense of others." - Ayn
Rand

You MIGHT be a Dimocrat if:

1. You think Dairy Queen's Moolatta drink is somehow racist (really,
they do).
2. You think that FSU using the team name "Seminoles" is racist
although the Seminole Tribe of FLorida likes it and gets money for use
of the name.
3. You still think Gore won the 2000 election.
4. You think Ted Kennedy was a "tragic figure".
5. You have a degree in social work, anthropology, or education or
Psychology.
6. You truly believe in Anthropogenic Global Warming
7. You are vegan or similar.
8. You deplore "frankenfoods"
9. You think NPR is:
a. Excellent
b. Private
c. Balanced
10.You think solar cars have been suppressed by a conspiracy of
automakers and oil companies.
11. You think Jimmy Carter was a great man.
12. You think Dan Rather's "fake but true" was right.
13. You have some saying by "Chief Seattle" on a bumper sticker.
14: You drive a Prius
15. You are female and still wear "Prairie Skirts"
16: You are a male who still thinks his long hair is a symbol of
rebellion.
17. Can actually believe that a baby is "not human" a second before
birth but is human as soon as it's head appears.
18. You believe the USA is racist and sexist but give muslim nations
a pass on their treatment of women and minorities.
19. You believe Wade Churchill is an indian.
20. You are afraid to criticize minorities for fear of seeming
racist.