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John H[_2_] February 10th 09 10:30 PM

A Touch of Humor
 
I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the
patients were shouting, "13...13....13...13."

The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the
planks and looked through to see what was going on.


Someone poked me in the eye with a stick.


Then they all started shouting. "14...14...14...14....".


[email protected] February 11th 09 01:45 PM

A Touch of Humor
 
On Feb 10, 5:30*pm, John H wrote:
*I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the
patients were shouting, "13...13....13...13."

The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the
planks and looked through to see what was going on.

*Someone poked me in the eye with a stick.

*Then they all started shouting. "14...14...14...14....".


Now that's funny!

Tim February 13th 09 12:57 AM

A Touch of Humor
 
On Feb 11, 7:45*am, wrote:
On Feb 10, 5:30*pm, John H wrote:

*I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the
patients were shouting, "13...13....13...13."


The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the
planks and looked through to see what was going on.


*Someone poked me in the eye with a stick.


*Then they all started shouting. "14...14...14...14....".


Now that's funny!


"YOU MAY BE A TALIBAN IF..."

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to
beer.
2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you
can't afford shoes.
3. You have more wives than teeth.
4. You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon
'unclean.'
5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
6. You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T declared Jihad against.
7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives
in your clothing.
8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than
setting off roadside bombs.
9. You've often uttered the phrase, 'I love what you've done with your
cave .'
10. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at
least one.
11. You bathe at least annually, whether necessary or not.
12. You have a crush on your neighbor's goat.

Tim February 18th 09 05:32 AM

A Touch of Humor
 

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out
and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she
opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead.
Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the
gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief...She takes the
gun and puts it to her head..The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey,
don't do it!!!' The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!'


John H[_2_] February 18th 09 10:36 PM

A Touch of Humor
 
On Tue, 17 Feb 2009 21:32:06 -0800 (PST), Tim
wrote:


A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out
and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she
opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead.
Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the
gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief...She takes the
gun and puts it to her head..The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey,
don't do it!!!' The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!'


LOL! Of course, you'll catch hell, appropriately, from those who think
you're bashing women.

And, just for that, you get this...

Skinny Dipping...

An elderly man in West Virginia had owned a large farm for several
years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for
swimming, so he fixed it up nicely with picnic tables, horseshoe
courts, and some apple, and peach trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he
hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a
Five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond,
he heard voices shouting and laughing with Glee. As he came closer,
he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep
end. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you
leave!" The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you
ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked."

Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."

Some old men can still think.


--
Calling an Illegal Alien an "Undocumented Worker" is like calling a
Crack Dealer an "Unlicensed Pharmacist"

John H

Tim February 18th 09 10:55 PM

A Touch of Humor
 
On Feb 18, 4:36*pm, John H wrote:
On Tue, 17 Feb 2009 21:32:06 -0800 (PST), Tim
wrote:



A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out
and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she
opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead.
Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the
gun, and as she does so, * she is overcome with grief...She takes the
gun and puts it to her head..The boyfriend yells, * 'No, * honey,
don't do it!!!' *The blonde replies, * 'Shut up, * you're next!'


LOL! Of course, you'll catch hell, appropriately, from those who think
you're bashing women.

And, just for that, you get this...

Skinny Dipping...

An elderly man in West Virginia had owned a large farm for several
years. *He had a large pond in the back. *It was properly shaped for
swimming, so he fixed it up nicely with picnic tables, horseshoe
courts, and some apple, and peach trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he
hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. *He grabbed a
Five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. *As he neared the pond,
he heard voices shouting and laughing with Glee. *As he came closer,
he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. *

He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep
end. *One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you
leave!" *The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you
ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked."

Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."

Some old men can still think.

--
Calling an Illegal Alien an "Undocumented Worker" is like calling a
Crack Dealer an "Unlicensed Pharmacist"

John H


Here. Bash on this!


Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a Yale freshman, sat in her
US government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe
vs. Wade was about. Bambi pondered the question then finally said,
'That was the decision George Washington had to make before the
crossed the Delaware '


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