How do you tell when you have become a real sailor?

1) When you tell somebody you want to go home you're thinking about your
boat.

2) When you wouldn't even consider joining a raft-up because it is a
lubberly thing to do and your boat could get damaged not to mention the
crowds offend you and you feel violated when strangers walk across your
deck.

3) When you pass by a marina you think, "Look at all the loser boats tied up
in that floating trailer park."

4) When you start noticing some dinghies don't have adequate rub rails and
you don't want them coming alongside even if there is a bikini babe sitting
in it because they scrape your topsides.

5) When you can't sleep well at night ashore because the air is stale and
the bed doesn't move.

6) When underway offshore and another boat comes closer than about half a
mile you feel like your territory is being invaded.

7) When the telephone doesn't ring for a week and you don't even care.

8) When you start using short wave radio because all the AM and FM stations
are out of range and you find you can easily do without the 25 minutes of
adverts every hour.

9) When you'd rather sit in the cockpit and watch the scenery and wildlife
in the evenings than watch your favorite DVD for probably the tenth time.

10) When you start throwing overboard electronic gadgets that give up the
ghost while thinking "Good riddance it wasn't worth what it weighed anyway."

11) When you snorkel frequently around and under your boat to scrub the
growth off the bottom because you know full well that even a little slime
can knock a knot off your speed especially in light winds.

12) When you start spending more time looking at the sails and the
tell-tales than the wind instrument at the masthead's readout.

13) When you anchor out every day for a year and don't drag a single time.

14) When you can come and go from an anchorage with very few people even
noticing your arrival or departure.

15) When you come to understand that mosquitoes and no-see-ums are just a
cost of doing business.

16) When you turn off the VHF because it is just so much distracting noise.

17) When you can read the depth of shallow water by its color and texture so
you rarely even look at the depth sounder because it's better to keep your
eyes on the water.

18) When you provide your kitty several good hidey holes it feels safe in
when times get rough.

19) When sleeping on clammy sheets no longer bothers you

20) When you look at yourself in the mirror after about a year or two of
sailing and you're actually thin for the first time in your adult life
because you're not eating junk food all the time.

21) When you thank God for providing that fish you caught and when you thank
the fish for giving up its life so you can eat.

Wilbur Hubbard