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This hit home HARD!!
Today I bumped into a casual acquaintance that I haven't seen since fall
(winter you know, everybody hides!). He looked like pure ****. Skin and bones, and one side of his face is horribly sunken in...skeletal in appearance. It was absolutely shocking considering that he always seemed to be on the portly side. Last time I saw him (fall) he was about 200 lbs. I am guessing maybe 120 now...tops. Three months ago he was given three months. This all happened since Novemeber 04 when I last saw him! He was quite happy to "still be here" in spite of what was forecast. Talk about a wake up call! Man that scares me FAR more than giving up the income stream and sailing away ever could! Just felt like sharing this... in the faint hope that it would somehow make me feel better. It didn't. **** that was hard to deal with! In truth I don't much like the guy, but I sure to feel for him. Son of a bitch! I am speechless. M |
Reminds me of a friend of mine who died young of colon cancer. Shortly
before he died, he confessed to me that he thought his life had been a failure. I was shocked by this admission because I had always thought of him in the opposite way. I first met Frank when I became involved in cave exploring. He lived in a cardboard box on the front porch of a falling down frame house near the university. Frank had almost no need for money and obtained all of his clothing from dumpsters behind frat houses. He never washed clothing but simply tossed it into a mouldering pile and got more for free. This was especially true of "cave clothes". Whereas the rest of us had to take our mud encrusted coveralls home and hose them off, he just threw his away and even planted grass seeds on them. Eventually Frank threw a rope over a tree limb and climbed it into the house attic where he lived unbeknownst to the other occupants. The house began to improve in appearance so much that the owner eventually discovered Frank and let him stay. We had to climb a cable ladder to his place which looked like a cave where he slept in a sleeping bag in a tiny alcove. All of us cavers would gather at his place to practice vertical caving techniques, learning to climb thousands of feet of rope on prusik knots. There was a sorority house next door and as cavers dont care about it being dark, we often had a great view. Frank was unimpressed because as it turned out he had an "alternative sex life". We went caving a lot together, him, myself and Bill M. (Bill later died in a bizarre cave diving accident exploring the longest underwater cave in the world). Bill would crawl ahead, I'd run compass and clinometer and Frank would record and sketch. When you spend hours (we once spent 36 hours in Climax Cave) laying in the mud with no vertical room and with someone elses boot in your face, you talk about odd things. Frank told us about his lifestyle where he would "service" rich frat boys. He told us he would always leave a change of clothes outside in case it got too weird. Franks admissions were no stranger than spending time laying in mud and bat guano and enjoying it. Sometimes he did work but his speciality was repairing strange medieval musical instruments. Mostly, he did not work but went caving nearly all the time. Frank kept "THE MAP". This was a huge yellowing mouldering map of Climax Cave with more than 12 miles of mapped passage, all mapped the hard way, crawling through godawful passage to find just a couple hundred of feet more. Data was fed into the campus mainframe computer that then tried to minimize errors by distrubuting them between individual shots of "closures". It would spit out a plot of connedcted points onto which we'd transfer the drawings from Franks map book and then glue this small piece onto the nearly 9 foot long map. We'd stare at ot for hours in the dim light of Franks attic trying to see patterns in the fractal-like structure. Once Frank "dreamed" a room into existence and when we went there, it really existed. Such trips would take 8 hours of crawling just to get to the place to map, a few hours of mapping and another 8 out. We joked that what could be dreamed into existence could also be dreamed out of existence, while we were in it. Once, a yuppie business prof went caving with us and spen the entire trip to the cave trying to impress us with how much money he made. Finally, he turned to frank and asked him what he did for a living. Frank matter of factly replied that he hadn't worked for 6 years. End of conversation. Being around frank was like magic because he lived in an alternative underground universe that was so close by but so far away in being unlike anything else. Frank could dream passage into existence and remember passage that had long ago (seemingly decades ago) been closed by sand washing in. The universe he lived in was like one that is like those sci-fi places that are a reality that barely touches ours but his cave universe really existed. Sometimes we would find vast open chambers that our lights wouldnt cross and it was like being present at the moment of creation before God filled the universe with light. On exiting the cave one time Frank fell against a rock and for weeks after compalined about the resulting bruise. Soon, he revealed he had learned it was really colon cancer that had progressed very far. He wasted away. Once he asked me what I'd like to do with my life and I told him I wanted to save to buy a computer so I could do x-ray calculations I was interested in and thejn start a business. We all assumed Frank was penniless and offered to help him with medical expenses. He calmly told me that several years ago when he had small amount of money, that he had purchased a catastrophic medical policy for a one time fee and that now it was paying for everything. When he died, we all assumed he was penniless but 6 months later I got a letter that he somehow had arranged to be delivered after his death. In the letter was $1750 in cash with instructions to buy that computer and start my business. For a man who thought he was a failure, he impressed the hell out of me. |
What does this have to do with boating?
"marley" wrote in message .. . Today I bumped into a casual acquaintance that I haven't seen since fall (winter you know, everybody hides!). He looked like pure ****. Skin and bones, and one side of his face is horribly sunken in...skeletal in appearance. It was absolutely shocking considering that he always seemed to be on the portly side. Last time I saw him (fall) he was about 200 lbs. I am guessing maybe 120 now...tops. Three months ago he was given three months. This all happened since Novemeber 04 when I last saw him! He was quite happy to "still be here" in spite of what was forecast. Talk about a wake up call! Man that scares me FAR more than giving up the income stream and sailing away ever could! Just felt like sharing this... in the faint hope that it would somehow make me feel better. It didn't. **** that was hard to deal with! In truth I don't much like the guy, but I sure to feel for him. Son of a bitch! I am speechless. M |
Doug Dotson wrote:
What does this have to do with boating? "marley" wrote in message .. . Today I bumped into a casual acquaintance that I haven't seen since fall (winter you know, everybody hides!). He looked like pure ****. Skin and bones, and one side of his face is horribly sunken in...skeletal in appearance. It was absolutely shocking considering that he always seemed to be on the portly side. Last time I saw him (fall) he was about 200 lbs. I am guessing maybe 120 now...tops. Three months ago he was given three months. This all happened since Novemeber 04 when I last saw him! He was quite happy to "still be here" in spite of what was forecast. Talk about a wake up call! Man that scares me FAR more than giving up the income stream and sailing away ever could! Just felt like sharing this... in the faint hope that it would somehow make me feel better. It didn't. **** that was hard to deal with! In truth I don't much like the guy, but I sure to feel for him. Son of a bitch! I am speechless. M It says to me do it NOW! Live for the moment! Who knows what next season will bring. |
Doug Dotson wrote:
What does this have to do with boating? It says to me do it NOW! Live for the moment! Who knows what next season will bring. "marley" wrote in message .. . Today I bumped into a casual acquaintance that I haven't seen since fall (winter you know, everybody hides!). He looked like pure ****. Skin and bones, and one side of his face is horribly sunken in...skeletal in appearance. It was absolutely shocking considering that he always seemed to be on the portly side. Last time I saw him (fall) he was about 200 lbs. I am guessing maybe 120 now...tops. Three months ago he was given three months. This all happened since Novemeber 04 when I last saw him! He was quite happy to "still be here" in spite of what was forecast. Talk about a wake up call! Man that scares me FAR more than giving up the income stream and sailing away ever could! Just felt like sharing this... in the faint hope that it would somehow make me feel better. It didn't. **** that was hard to deal with! In truth I don't much like the guy, but I sure to feel for him. Son of a bitch! I am speechless. M |
Doug Dotson wrote:
What does this have to do with boating? It says to me do it NOW! Live for the moment! Who knows what next season will bring. "marley" wrote in message .. . Today I bumped into a casual acquaintance that I haven't seen since fall (winter you know, everybody hides!). He looked like pure ****. Skin and bones, and one side of his face is horribly sunken in...skeletal in appearance. It was absolutely shocking considering that he always seemed to be on the portly side. Last time I saw him (fall) he was about 200 lbs. I am guessing maybe 120 now...tops. Three months ago he was given three months. This all happened since Novemeber 04 when I last saw him! He was quite happy to "still be here" in spite of what was forecast. Talk about a wake up call! Man that scares me FAR more than giving up the income stream and sailing away ever could! Just felt like sharing this... in the faint hope that it would somehow make me feel better. It didn't. **** that was hard to deal with! In truth I don't much like the guy, but I sure to feel for him. Son of a bitch! I am speechless. M |
"Jim," wrote in message ... Doug Dotson wrote: What does this have to do with boating? It says to me do it NOW! Live for the moment! Who knows what next season will bring. There is one thing FOR CERTAIN next season will bring - another year of Peggie Hall's boring sewage posts. That, alone, is reason enough to go cruising NOW. CN "marley" wrote in message .. . Today I bumped into a casual acquaintance that I haven't seen since fall (winter you know, everybody hides!). He looked like pure ****. Skin and bones, and one side of his face is horribly sunken in...skeletal in appearance. It was absolutely shocking considering that he always seemed to be on the portly side. Last time I saw him (fall) he was about 200 lbs. I am guessing maybe 120 now...tops. Three months ago he was given three months. This all happened since Novemeber 04 when I last saw him! He was quite happy to "still be here" in spite of what was forecast. Talk about a wake up call! Man that scares me FAR more than giving up the income stream and sailing away ever could! Just felt like sharing this... in the faint hope that it would somehow make me feel better. It didn't. **** that was hard to deal with! In truth I don't much like the guy, but I sure to feel for him. Son of a bitch! I am speechless. M |
I'll admit, my post says little about cruising but also a lot. The
original post got me all maudlin about my dead friends and the crazy trips we all went on. Oddly, my friend who was the ultimate 'I did it my way" person thought he was a failure. The rest of us cavers thought he was a genius. His family thought he was the blacksheep pervert of the family and prefferred to pretend his bizarre life did not exist. They had no concept of his life so when 30 cavers showed up at the church for his funeral dressed in muddy boots, caving helmets and muddy coveralls, they didnt get it. Since I am unable to do serious caving anymore( Age you know, I now get dehydrated in hot humid places, getting old isnt for wimps) I try to get some of the same feelings of discovery from being on the water. It isnt quite the same but being waaaaay out at night has a little of the feeling of an alternative universe. It seems, the message is not to delay doing the things you really want to do. For me, the hard part is deciding which is the most interesting. Capt. Neal=AE wrote: "Jim," wrote in message ... Doug Dotson wrote: What does this have to do with boating? It says to me do it NOW! Live for the moment! Who knows what next season will bring. There is one thing FOR CERTAIN next season will bring - another year of Peggie Hall's boring sewage posts. That, alone, is reason enough to go cruising NOW. CN "marley" wrote in message .. . Today I bumped into a casual acquaintance that I haven't seen since fall (winter you know, everybody hides!). He looked like pure ****. Skin and bones, and one side of his face is horribly sunken in...skeletal in appearance. It was absolutely shocking considering that he always seemed to be on the portly side. Last time I saw him (fall) he was about 200 lbs. I am guessing maybe 120 now...tops. Three months ago he was given three months. This all happened since Novemeber 04 when I last saw him! He was quite happy to "still be here" in spite of what was forecast. Talk about a wake up call! Man that scares me FAR more than giving up the income stream and sailing away ever could! Just felt like sharing this... in the faint hope that it would somehow make me feel better. It didn't. **** that was hard to deal with! In truth I don't much like the guy, but I sure to feel for him. Son of a bitch! I am speechless. M=20 =20 =20 |
I was a caver for over 20 years. Fellow of the NSS. Got married in my
caving boots with 50 of my muddiest friends. We probably know each other at least indirectly. Drop me a private email. Doug (NSS 16196) wrote in message oups.com... I'll admit, my post says little about cruising but also a lot. The original post got me all maudlin about my dead friends and the crazy trips we all went on. Oddly, my friend who was the ultimate 'I did it my way" person thought he was a failure. The rest of us cavers thought he was a genius. His family thought he was the blacksheep pervert of the family and prefferred to pretend his bizarre life did not exist. They had no concept of his life so when 30 cavers showed up at the church for his funeral dressed in muddy boots, caving helmets and muddy coveralls, they didnt get it. Since I am unable to do serious caving anymore( Age you know, I now get dehydrated in hot humid places, getting old isnt for wimps) I try to get some of the same feelings of discovery from being on the water. It isnt quite the same but being waaaaay out at night has a little of the feeling of an alternative universe. It seems, the message is not to delay doing the things you really want to do. For me, the hard part is deciding which is the most interesting. Capt. Neal® wrote: "Jim," wrote in message ... Doug Dotson wrote: What does this have to do with boating? It says to me do it NOW! Live for the moment! Who knows what next season will bring. There is one thing FOR CERTAIN next season will bring - another year of Peggie Hall's boring sewage posts. That, alone, is reason enough to go cruising NOW. CN "marley" wrote in message .. . Today I bumped into a casual acquaintance that I haven't seen since fall (winter you know, everybody hides!). He looked like pure ****. Skin and bones, and one side of his face is horribly sunken in...skeletal in appearance. It was absolutely shocking considering that he always seemed to be on the portly side. Last time I saw him (fall) he was about 200 lbs. I am guessing maybe 120 now...tops. Three months ago he was given three months. This all happened since Novemeber 04 when I last saw him! He was quite happy to "still be here" in spite of what was forecast. Talk about a wake up call! Man that scares me FAR more than giving up the income stream and sailing away ever could! Just felt like sharing this... in the faint hope that it would somehow make me feel better. It didn't. **** that was hard to deal with! In truth I don't much like the guy, but I sure to feel for him. Son of a bitch! I am speechless. M |
In article ,
dougdotson@NOSPAMcablespeedNOSPAMcom says... What does this have to do with boating? Probably nothing, Mr. Dotson. But if this is your community, then it has to do with life -- and death. |
On Thu, 7 Apr 2005 18:16:33 -0400, "Doug Dotson"
dougdotson@NOSPAMcablespeedNOSPAMcom wrote: What does this have to do with boating? Everything. Carpe bloody diem is the point. A large part of my game plan is to purchase a world cruiser in my 40s from a guy in his late 60s who planned and scrimped and built and saved...and then got sick/too old/too tired/too consumed with kids, grandkids, whatever. Opportunistic? Oh, probably, but I've seen too many good sailors swallow the anchor on their dream of long-term cruising because the circumstances were never quite good enough. Bull****. You could be dead tomorrow. Sail today, or as close to today as you can, because regret is a living death. R. |
I'll admit, my post says little about cruising but also a lot.
As another former caver, I appreciated it. Still use a self tied from webbing swiss seat and prusik knots to go up my mast. Been so long I don't remember my NSS #, but I think it was four digits. (NSS ????) |
rhys :
On Thu, 7 Apr 2005 18:16:33 -0400, "Doug Dotson" dougdotson@NOSPAMcablespeedNOSPAMcom wrote: What does this have to do with boating? Everything. Carpe bloody diem is the point. A large part of my game plan is to purchase a world cruiser in my 40s from a guy in his late 60s who planned and scrimped and built and saved...and then got sick/too old/too tired/too consumed with kids, grandkids, whatever. Opportunistic? Oh, probably, but I've seen too many good sailors swallow the anchor on their dream of long-term cruising because the circumstances were never quite good enough. Bull****. You could be dead tomorrow. Sail today, or as close to today as you can, because regret is a living death. Right, due to personal reasons it looks like my plans to build and sail on my own boat will never come true. So instead I go to the cabin up north and try to go wilderness camping in as many diffirent parks as possible. This year my camping trips spread out from Canada to New York State. Repeatly over the years, I have been told by my parents/brothers that I should not go on particular trips because the weather will be bad, not getting promoted at work and other reasons. I still went and will continue to go. On the otherhand, my parents who planned to vacation after thier retirement all over Europe found themselves stuck at home taking care of my brother Wanye who is in a coma from a drunk driver. Up to the time of the accident my parents always talked about trips after they retire. Infact they could have gone before retirement, my mom had lots of vacation time held over, my dad self-employed as a real estate agent - and they did do one trip so I know that it was possible for them to do. There was no reason they could not have gone every single year, but it was always 'after we retire'. Now last year my Dad died when his appendix ruptured, we did not see that one coming I tell you. My mom plans gone, my Dad gone, and they both could have gone dozens of times before Wanye's accident. If you have a chance to enjoy life, and you are not going to hurt anyone else, try to take it. I got to watch a loon family grow up on my lake, I climbed mountains, canoed lakes I never knew existed ten years ago, watch the Northern Lights where the nearest town was over a hundred kilometers away, watched waterspouts dance on the same lake that my cabin is on and many, many more things. My parents have - 'when we retire', only to find that they did not have it then. And can never have it now. Earl Colby Pottinger PS. I also help with my brother, that is why no sailing. -- I make public email sent to me! Hydrogen Peroxide Rockets, OpenBeos, SerialTransfer 3.0, RAMDISK, BoatBuilding, DIY TabletPC. What happened to the time? http://webhome.idirect.com/~earlcp |
Fantasic life story. It is stuff like this that points out thinking your
personal way of life as unchangable is not true. Infact, not to the same level I knew a guy who if you did not listen to him talk about computers you would think he was a bum from the way he dressed. Infact he free-lanced programming and made in the upper 5 figures. Additionally the house he got when his parents died was worth well over a million, possibility 2 million. Appearances can fool you. Earl Colby Pottinger -- I make public email sent to me! Hydrogen Peroxide Rockets, OpenBeos, SerialTransfer 3.0, RAMDISK, BoatBuilding, DIY TabletPC. What happened to the time? http://webhome.idirect.com/~earlcp |
On Mon, 11 Apr 2005 21:50:10 -0500, Earl Colby Pottinger
wrote: .. So instead I go to the cabin up north and try to go wilderness camping in as many diffirent parks as possible. This year my camping trips spread out from Canada to New York State. should not go on particular trips because the weather will be bad, not getting promoted at work and other reasons. I still went and will continue to go. Why not? Frequently "concern" is a well-meaning cloak for fear or even jealousy. I'm not implying this is the case here, but in many families, the words "you're being irresponsible" are used to end debate, when what is really going on is "I am too gutless/pinched/tired to carpe bloody diem, but not so much that I don't resent your attempt". Now last year my Dad died when his appendix ruptured, we did not see that one coming I tell you. My wife miscarried and spent several weeks in hospital last year with the same thing...including her 30th birthday. Insult to sudden and random injury...that and my mother's recent death (10 years younger than my father, who is largely lost without her) convinced me that concerns about wealth and career-building were irrelevant if I wanted to give my son the experience of going from child to teen cruising around the world. Besides, it's getting ugly out there. In 20 years, the idea of liveaboard world cruising might be dashed by climatic or political upheavals. My mom plans gone, my Dad gone, and they both could have gone dozens of times before Wanye's accident. If you have a chance to enjoy life, and you are not going to hurt anyone else, try to take it. Total agreement. Harm none, and do what you will. I got to watch a loon family grow up on my lake, I climbed mountains, canoed lakes I never knew existed ten years ago, watch the Northern Lights where the nearest town was over a hundred kilometers away, watched waterspouts dance on the same lake that my cabin is on and many, many more things. My parents have - 'when we retire', only to find that they did not have it then. And can never have it now. Earl Colby Pottinger PS. I also help with my brother, that is why no sailing. This was quite moving, and within your constrained circumstances, I think you are doing the best you can. If you can't own a sailboat, maybe you can crew on deliveries or race as crew in a yacht club. Deliveries that aren't trans-atlantic or longer can be just a one-to-two week commitment in many cases, and you can keep your seamanship fresh for the time when your situation may change again. Best wishes and fair winds, R. |
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