Overheard recently in an Australian Bar
 

Capt. Mike and Lady Sailor were enjoying a few drinks recently in an
Australian bar. They couldn't help noticing a loud-mouthed drunken fellow
belting them down across the room.

"That guy looks familiar," said Lady Sailor. "Why yes, it's my old
boyfriend, Michael Schoonertrash." "Oh dear, I heard that he took to
drinking right after we broke up and hasn't been sober since," sighed Lady
Sailor.

"My God!" replied Capt. Mike. "Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?"

Overheard recently in an Australian Bar
 

Two Aboriginal lads are riding along the Great Eastern Highway on a
motorbike.

Their motorbike breaks down and they start hitching a lift.


A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the Aborigines ask him
for a lift.


He tells them he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20,000 bowling
balls but he will take a look at the bike for them. He tries everything he
knows but is unable to repair it.


Time is getting on now and he's late for his delivery so he tells the
Aborigines he has to leave.


'Heyyyyy mate' they say 'gissa pucken lift'.


The trucker once again explains that he has no room as he is carrying 20,000
bowling balls.


The Aborigines put it to the driver that if they can manage to fit in the
back will he agree to take them and he agrees.


They manage to squeeze themselves and their motorbike into the back of the
wagon so the driver shuts the doors and gets off on his way.


By this time he is really late and so puts his foot down. Sure enough the
coppers pull him up for speeding.


The good officer asks the driver what he is carrying, to which he replies -
Aboriginal Eggs.


The policeman obviously doesn't believe this so he wants to take a look. He
opens the back door and quickly shuts it and locks it.


He gets onto his radio and calls for immediate backup from as many officers
as possible.


The dispatcher asks what emergency he has that requires so many officers.


The Officer replies: 'I've got a wagon with 20,000 Aboriginal eggs in it - 2
have hatched and the *******s have managed to steal a motorbike already'.