BoatBanter.com - Whistling...

OzOne wrote:
On 7 Jan 2007 13:44:19 -0800, "Joe"
scribbled thusly:

Is that all you could find?

No I just scratched the surface, you have a favorites?

Yep, the one about a car requiring a person to walk in front with a
red lantern so as to not scare the horses.....been removed in the
revision of the Motor Traffic Act before last..

Here its still a hanging offence to steal a horse, or shoot someones
cattle.

Joe

#
Texas
# A city ordinance states that a person cannot go barefoot without
first obtaining a special five-dollar permit.

They had a bad fungus

# A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their
victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain
the nature of the crime to be committed.

That way if they do not, you can charge them and they spend more time
in the slammer

# Abilene: It is illegal to idle or loiter anyplace within the
corporate limits of the city for the purpose of flirting or mashing.

Just dont want to outside flooseys working locals.

# Austin: Wire cutters can not be carried in your pocket.

Barb wire wars

# Beaumont: Collegiate football is banned at Lamar University.

they cheated

# Borger: It is against the law to throw confetti, rubber balls,
feather dusters, whips or quirts (riding crop), and explosive
firecrackers of any kind.

As it should be

# Clarendon: It is illegal to dust any public building with a feather
duster.

They had this crazy woman, kept dusting the buildings with stolen
chicken feathers.

# Dallas: It's illegal to possess realistic dildos.

No fakes allowed

# El Paso: Churches, hotels, halls of assembly, stores, markets,
banking rooms, railroad depots, and saloons are required to provide
spittoons "of a kind and number to efficiently contain expectorations
into them."

Keeps you from slipping on the floors

# Galveston: It is illegal to drive a motor car down Broadway before
noon on Sundays.

It would upset all the church services, and horses un-tended outside
the churches, Broadway is lined with churches. You should see all the
tiffeny stained glass windows.

# Houston: Beer may not be purchased after midnight on a Sunday, but
it may be purchased on Monday. It is illegal to sell Limburger cheese
on Sunday.

You gotta sleep first, stinky cheese ?.

# If two trains going in opposite directions on the same track meet
each other, one can't move until the other does.

Right smart law

# If you went to church in Texas years back, you'd better be
recognized. An old law made it illegal to go to church in disguise.

no hoods.

# In Alamo a person found intoxicated must be given a large dose of
castor oil by a local doctor...and failure to gulp it down will result
in a fine.

should be wupped too.

# In Corpus Christie it is illegal to raise alligators in your home.

had some ozzeys move in

# In Dallas County it is illegal to own any realistic looking, phallic
shaped, personal massager more than one foot in length.

Considered a weapon.

# In Houston you cannot buy beer after midnight on Sunday, but you can
buy it on Monday.

Gotta close the shop and open, or 6am.

# In Kingsville, there is a law against two pigs having sex on the
city's airport property.

Humping pigs are prop strike height.

# In Lefors, Texas it is illegal to take more than three swallows of
beer at any time while standing.

Mooron visited there once...ruined the place

# In Mesquite, Texas it is illegal for kids to have unusual haircuts.

Moohawk craze in the 50's, Maw even started shooting the kids having
injun flashbacks.

# It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a
hotel.

Just not faie to the buffalo's

# It is illegal to drive without windshield wipers. You don't need a
windshield, but you must have the wipers.

If you have a windshield

# It is illegal to have an open container in a car.

booze

# It is illegal to have anything protruding from your bumper unless it
is attached with a chain

Dont want stuff flying off

# It is illegal to milk another person's cow.
# It is illegal to spit on the sidewalk.
# It is illegal to urinate on the Alamo.

All discusting acts.

# It is legal for a husband to beat his wife as long as he uses
something no bigger than his thumb.

rule of thumbs

# It is legal for the blind to go hunting as long as they have someone
with them who isn't blind.

fair

# It is legal to commit a homicide as long as you tell the person
when, and how you are going to kill them.

Sounds fair

# In San Antonio, Texas, you can't honk a horn, run a generator, have
a revival meeting or do anything else that disturbs the neighborhood
and the city has a four-member noise police squad to enforce the law.

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh

# In Texas any artificial constructed underwater barrier reefs must
come with an instruction booklet.

As they should

# In Texas, sixteen-year old divorced girls are prohibited from
talking about sex during high school extracurricular activities.

Some little slut tried to turn the other little girls into sluts

# It is unlawful for a person to consume an alcoholic beverage while
operating a motor vehicle upon a public roadway, if the person is
observed doing so by a peace officer.

Aint wrong unless they catch you.

.

Sorry for the repetition...but hey it is Texas......

Don't mess with Texas

Joe

Oz1...of the 3 twins.

I welcome you to crackerbox palace,
We've been expecting you.