Okay then Bart....

It was a summer fishing trip to the remote reaches of the East Arm of Great
Slave Lake. About 700 nm round trip. There were six crew and supplies
sufficient to live like kings including 2 inflatable tenders and diving
gear.

It turned out that during our progress to our destination we encountered 3
separate incidents with other vessels and crew requiring assistance. We were
there and well prepared. One of the crew was a Paramedic and had all the
gear. We rescued a prospector investigating possible kimberlite funnels who
was stricken with the flu and in very bad shape. we towed his 18 ft sailboat
with us for 3 days and nursed him back to health prior to dropping him off
at a community called Lut'selke' at his request.

Then a powerboat with a family aboard had suffered mechanical problems in
Wildbread Bay and had been stranded for 2 days. We fed the family and towed
them to a Luxury Fishing Camp where they arranged to fly the family back by
floatplane. One of the guides... a mechanic got the parts flown in..
repaired the boat and took it back to Yellowknife with the owner.

Then we ran into an elderly woman on a kayak with an alp horn strapped to
the side. She was lost and hungry .. having been out for days longer than
expected. We set her up with a hot meal, supplies... and let her sleep in a
warm dry bunk as we sailed her 80 miles further to her destination. Once we
got her to the islands she was all set and put off to Yellowknife..
refreshed , restocked and happy.

Well after all that we made Wildbread Bay again and had a blast fishing,
drinking and just having a great time.

On the way back I spotted a vessel on radar approaching us. It was
misty/foggy but not too bad. Once we had visual contact I recognized the
boat as one of Mike Stillwell's charter boats. Now... I knew most all the
sailors on the lake. Especially the ones on charter boats since I Captained
a few charters for Mike. The chances we knew the people on board were 98%.
We had a bucket of water balloons and a reputation to uphold. We had a
pirate flag and a stuffed parrot ... there was no option.. an attack was in
order. Tony manned the mouth harp to sound the attack song... we
positioned ourselves... and launched the world's worst attack ever. Not
one of the dozen water balloons hit the vessel. I did not recognize the
sailors but waved and cussed my crew in disgust before making track out of
there in embarrassment at our poor showing.

It was 2weeks later while having a few beers with the deputy major of Hay
River, an MLA and the Commodore dockside when we were interrupted by a call
from the dock. RCMP.... "I'm looking for the captain of this vessel..." A
quick discussion with the officer and a view of my log showed that not only
were we in full control of our faculties but the vessel as well. I told the
officer to inform the complainants that I would be happy to pursue this in
court. I then pointed out to the officer that we had also water bombed the
local RCMP Patrol vessel last week.... as well as the Aux Coast Guard!!
We also regularly water bombed and had pitched battles with almost every
sailor on the bay. We did more for water balloon launcher sales....

I found out from the charter company that the RCMP had made inquiries all
over about me... all with the same result.. that I was a good sailor, a
great person and would have no problem getting character witnesses. Then the
people I helped out on my trip responded and a few days later was informed
the action was dropped. It was a local legal firm. A file is kept on the
incident and the RCMP agreed to label it "Overproof Piracy" for me! They
thought it was pretty funny!

Three weeks after that.... the same group of lawyers tried to sail a 42ft
Frasier up the Yellowknife River and ran it hard aground causing 12K damage
in an area they were informed was not to be approached with the charter
vessel.

Now that's blind justice for you!

So my claim to the title was earned on merit in the field and not by formal
education. They call me Capt. Mooron!.... and so will You!

CM

"Bart Senior" .@. wrote in message ...
You don't get off that easy.

Tell us the whole story.

Also, have you been in France, near Paris, this last week?

"Capt.Mooron" wrote

Well the RCMP referred to me as Captain in the warrant!
I water-bombed a boat full of lawyers!
They filed a formal complaint
I placed my log as evidence.
The lawyers didn't have a log
The lawyers decided not to procede.
I have a file at "G" Division labelled "Overproof -Piracy"
It cites I am the Captain of the vessel.
I rest my case gentlmen! :-)

Capt. Mooron