Liberals Return To Sodomy, Welfare Fraud

BERKELEY, CA-No longer occupied by the 2004 election, liberals across
the country have returned to the activities they enjoy most: anal sex
and cheating the welfare system. "I've been so busy canvassing for the
Democratic Party, I haven't had a single moment for suckling at the
government's teat or no-holds-barred ass ramming," said Jonathan Gaynz,
an unemployed pro-hemp activist. "Now, my friends and I can finally get
back to warming our hands over burning American flags and turning kids
gay." Gaynz added that his "number-one priority" is undermining the
efforts of freedom-loving patriots everywhere.