All About Martin
 

Did you hear that Martin Baxter...

lost his girlfriend because he forgot where he laid her.

thought that asphalt was rectum trouble

called his girlfriend tapioca because she could be made in minute

thought his typewriter was pregnant because it missed a period

thought that "no kidding" meant some form of birth control

thought that peter pan was something for under the bed

thought that "moby dick" was a veneral disease

thought that a sanitary belt was a drink from clean shot glass

smelled good only on the right side because he couldn't find the left guard

wore union pants because his wife was having labor pains

studied 5 days for a urine test

went to the out house, put one leg in each hole and **** his pants

thought a mushroom was a place to kiss

was in the indy 500 and had 6 pit stops, 1 for gas and 6 for directions

put 75 holes in his face?...he was learning to eat

him and his girlfriend love to cook armadillos, he cooks and she watches for trucks.

Martin saw a small plane crash in a cemetary and he recovered 4000 bodies.

You know how to spot Martins dog? He's chewed off 3 legs and has one left in a trap.

I could go on.........

Joe

Joe wrote:

Well Donal, it looks like you may have to give up that self awarded prize for provoking the local misanthrope!

Cheers
Marty