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noah
 
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Default A little humor.... Laughing is good.

Sorry about the line justification, but the original was an email.


This is an actual letter sent to Ryan DeVries from the Michigan
Department
of Environmental Quality, State of Michigan.


Mr. Ryan DeVries
2088 Dagget
Pierson, MI49339

SUBJECT: DEQ
File No. 97-59-0023;
T11N; R10W, Sec. 20;
MontcalmCounty

Dear Mr. DeVries

It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental
Quality
that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above
referenced
parcel of*property. You have been certified as the legal landowner
and/or
contractor who did the following unauthorized activity: Construction
and
maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring
Pond. A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of
activity.
A review of the Department's files shows that no permits have been
issued.
Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in
violation
of Part 301, InlandLakesand Streams, of the Natural Resource and
Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994,
being
sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws,
annotated.
The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams
partially
failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at
downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently
hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you
to
cease and desist all activities at this location, and to restore the
stream
to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming the
dams
from the stream channel. All restoration work shall be completed no
later
than January 31 2002.
Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so
that a
follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff. Failure to
comply
with this request or any further unauthorized activity on the site may
result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement action. We
anticipate and would appreciate your full*cooperation in this matter.
Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any
questions.
Sincerely,
David L. Price
District Representative
Land and Water Management Division
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
RESPONSE:
Dear Mr. Price,
DEQ File No. 97-59-0023;
T11N; R10W, Sec. 20;
MontcalmCounty

Your certified letter dated 12/17/97has been handed to me to respond
to.
First of all, Mr. Ryan De Vries is not the legal landowner and/or
contractor at 2088 Dagget, Pierson, Michigan. I am the legal owner and
a
couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of
constructing
and maintaining two wood "debris" dams
across the outlet stream of my Spring Pond.* While I did not pay for,
authorize, nor supervise their dam! project, I think they would be
highly
offended that you call their skillful use of natural building
materials
"debris." I would like to challenge your department to attempt to
emulate
their dam project any time and/or any place you choose. I believe I
can
safely state there is no way you could ever match their dam
skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam
persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic. As
to
your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must
first
fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam activity.
My
first dam question to you is (1) Are you trying to*discriminate
against my
Spring Pond Beavers or (2) do you require all beavers throughout this
State
to conform to said dam request? If you are not discriminating against
these
particular beavers, through the Freedom of Information Act, I request
completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits that
have
been issued. Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of
Part
301, InlandLakesand Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental
Protection Act, Act 451of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections
324.30101
to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated.
I have several concerns. My first concern is - aren't the beavers
entitled
to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially
destitute
and are unable to
pay for said representation -- so the State will have to provide them
with
a dam lawyer. The Department's dam concern that either one or both
ofthe
dams failed during a recent rain event causing flooding is proof that
this
is a natural occurrence, which the Department is required to protect.
In
other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than
harassing them and calling their dam names. If you want the stream
"restored" to a dam free-flow condition - please contact the beavers -
but
if you ar! e going to arrest them (they obviously did not pay any
attention
to your dam letter being unable to read English). *In my humble
opinion,
the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their unauthorized dams
as
long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and water flows
downstream.
They have more dam right than I do to live and enjoy Spring Pond. If
the
Department of Natural Resources and Environmental Protection lives up
to
its name, it should protect the natural resources (Beavers) and the
environment Beavers' Dams.)So, as far as the beavers and I are
concerned,
this dam case can be referred for more elevated enforcement action
right
now. Why wait until 1/31/2002? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under
the dam
ice then and there will be no way for you or your dam staff to
contact/harass them then.
In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention a real
environmental
quality (health) problem in the area. It is the bears. Bears are
actually
defecating in our
woods. I definitely believe you should be persecuting the defecating
bears
and leave the beavers alone. If you are going to investigate the
beaver
dam, watch your
step! (The bears are not careful where they dump!)
Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to
contact
you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your
dam
office.

Sincerely,
Stephen L.Tvedten

*************************************
noah







Courtesy of Lee Yeaton,
See the boats of rec.boats
www.TheBayGuide.com/rec.boats
  #2   Report Post  
Gould 0738
 
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Default A little humor.... Laughing is good.

That's a very old joke. Where ya been? :-)
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